Question:

I want to forget about my ex for the 100th time!?

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I was with my ex for 4 years. We officially broke up in 12/2007. I really loved him a alot and have done a lot for him. I have 2 sons from a previous relationship who liked my ex but then started to dislike him because of the argument. My boys are no babies. age 14 and 10. So they knew him when they were 10 and 6. Anyway, We broke up in Dec. I did not contact him, reach out to him, look for him, ask about him,etc. It was over for good. In the meantime I ran into an old Junior HS boyfriend and rekindled. He even proposed to me. We were to get married in July 2008. It was too soon for me plus I'm glad I didn't go through with it because he was h**l to live with. Would shave and leave pubs all over,f**t all day, eat all day, dictate to me, very messy, and was just a slob. Yes, he showed me love, attention, affection, and tried to be a dad to my kids which they don't need because their father takes very good care of them. Any way, In the mix of it all, My ex of 4 yrs was hearing about me getting marries, and that I had a new guy and so on. in 7/08 he approached us and it was a big thing with my fiance and my ex. I havent seen my ex since December do I was now seeing him for the first time in 8 months! I felt like he still loved me and wanted to approach me because he was hurt. I called him the very next day and have been seeing him ever since. He lives in MAssachusetts and comes down to NYC regurlarly. (2 1/2 hr ride). 1 week after we reunited sexually and talked all that pillow talk, I ended it with my fiance. Since then, my ex has been acting a lil funny. Well I dont know. I just want more and he says that we are working slowly to get back together. Dont rush, and I know he has many of women because that was the reason we broke up. He has no intentions on moving back to NYC and has not talked about me relocating to MA. Am I moving to fast? I was doing fine. It took me a while to get over him, now I feel like I'm back at square 1. I would like to leave him alone for good. I know I cannot trust him. We have great s*x and we have quality time togetheer but I see no future no committment. Im 32 he's 26. He was 20 when we met and I was 27. How can I cut my ties nicely. Pls help. It's only been 3 weeks and he has me hurtin already. Phone ringing all nite, I read text messages he sent to his Baby Mother, he lies about when he is in NYC and when he's not. and so secretive.

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  1. It sounds like he is keeping all of his options open and you are just one of them. Maybe by showing up in your life when he did, he wasn't really coming back to you but just keeping an option open?

    In order for this relationship to work long term you both have to want the same thing. It sounds like you want commitment while he wants to keep as many options open as possible. He is going to string you along...you are going to pressure him...the fights will start again...the hurting will get worse...You already know this!

    You need to decide what you want in a man and then go looking for it believing that:

    1. It exists and CAN be found

    2. You deserve it.

    It sounds like you were settling when you got engaged to your fiance. Marriage is NOT a settlement. It is finding a loving partner with whom you can create a fulfilling future. Take it seriously!!! This is YOUR life, YOUR happiness! Don't go back and forth between men who have already shown you that they are NOT the ONE!!!

    Time to get rid of what doesn't work and make room in your life for something that DOES work, girl! All the best!

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