I want to go to school, but my husband does not...?

Question

I want to go to school, it will be expensive because my only option is online classes. My husband does not support my decision at all. He says I do not need to go to college because he is here and takes care of every thing, but what if some thing happens...like a divorce, or he losses his job etc, etc. I am thank full for being a stay at home mom but I know is hard to star all over again with two kids and no skills to get a good job. He will probably divorce me if I go to school. How can i do this or what is the best way to stay married and go to school.

Answer 1

Have you considered applying at your local community college and then applying for financial aid through their office? For most people that is the best way to jump back into the school thing without the fear of excessive bills. Never know till you look into it. A lot better than online courses. If there's little cost your hub may not object, but his fear may extend beyond cost to losing you to a flirty friend, or that you wouldn't want him after you'd been educated. He may to insecure as to your motives, however if you explain that you want to do it so you both can get ahead, he may understand your need.

Answer 2

He's going to divorce you anyway.... later, orver anything else he can come up with that you might do that he doesn't like...... sweetie, school isn't the issue...

Control is.... and now that you are trapped, with two kids, and no education, you could not be is a worse place as far as having any control of your future.... and he's just making sure of that.

Sweetie, had you been my sister, these are the rules that our mom would have started hammering into you head beginning when you were 13.

1.  The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry.  Choose with your head as well as your heart.

2.  Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support.  You may just have to

3.  At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs.  It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!

4.  Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it.  You absolutely will, and the more the better

From these, you sorta screwed up marrying a guy who wants to make sure you don't take one breath he's not aware of.  You have blown number two by not getting an education before you had kids, because he will indeed leave you, and you indeed cannot support them yourself.  At this point,  you are now standing at the beginning of number three.... and that is get that goddamn education, hon, no matter what.  The issue with your jerk of a husband in not your education, it is the fact that if he allows this, you are showing him that you can indeed be independent, and to an abusive control freak  (sorry, sweetie, he is one!!!), you are thus a real challenge to his authority.  

You bet get back into school, and you bet start that stash, and if he's got any brains at all, he will see that having an educated partner for a wife is an asset, not a liability.  And if he doesn't see it that way, do it anyway, and insist you and he get a session of counseling together.... marriage, hon is a team endeavor, not a dictatorship, or a master-slave situation.  You're not his slave, hon, you're not his brood mare, you are his wife, and in the US, we called that a marriage of equals!!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry, that is really a sad situation.  As a husband I have always been supportive of my wife in all she tries to do in life.  A good education is a benefit for you and your kids in the long run.  If he is willing to divorce you over this then odds are he is planning to divorce you any way.  :(

Answer 4

If you want to pay for school by yourself, don't let anything hold you back. He's just comfortable to have you as a housewife. But if you want him to pay, you can't really make him unless you talk to him and he agrees. Anyway, good luck, husband should be supportive and if he divorces you it means he is selfish and he doesn't care about your needs, plans, and aspirations.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have a big decision to make.  If he does not want you to take classes and might divorce you, sounds like he is controlling.  You need to have a real converstion with him and maybe be willing to take one class at a time.  He might get on board and help, or  he might not.  Maybe he is just afarid that it will hinder you form taking care of the kids, and Him(of corse). Or he might just want to control your  every move.  Good Luck and God Bless.  Just think about your actions and the responce you will get.  Are you ready to divorce, or is it that important to you.