I want to have amother more then anything!!!!?

Question

I am in a group home you probably already know. Well i want to get adopted by one of the staff. I need advice on how i can talk to her about it and how can i deal with the pain!!! what should i do?

Answer 1

I have 15 years experience working with Group Homes.  I have read other peoples answers and see some think it is not ethical.  However, if this staff member is interested in adopting you 2 would come up with a plan to make that happen.  It is not unethical (meaning there are no rules against that from happening)

First of all you need to talk to her.  If you dont talk to her you will never know.  Be prepared though if she tells you that she cannot adopt you.  Good Luck

Answer 2

Is being adopted by staff allowed?  You probably need to find that out first.  Then I would probably go to her supervisor and let her know you are interested before going directly to her and maybe putting her on the spot.  I'm sure she loves you, but may not be ready-emotionally or financially to become a mother.

Realize the things that will change when this happens-both in daily life and at home.  She will most likely still have this job helping other kids.  Can you share?  If you cant be adopted by the staff member would you consider someone else adopting you?  Or is she the only one you want for a mom?

There are many families -such as myself-that want to adopt again, but many of the "older" kids just dont want to be adopted.  Or that is what we are told.  I have inquired countless times on different children (the oldest was a group of 3 sisters from ages 9-16) and often times wont even get a response!  sorry-I dont know any way around it.

If you truly want to be adopted then keep at it.  Email privately and maybe we can make something happen.  I'm not saying I would be the right mom for you-just that sometimes it helps to have someone else helping you.

best of luck, Sheri

Answer 3

There's really nothing wrong with just blatantly asking one of them "Will you be my mom?"  

That phrase usually tends to hit a soft spot in people's hearts.

She'll probably say yes, or ask you a question like "Why would you want me to be your mom?" or something like that.  That'd be the perfect time to tell your feelings.  

People who run those kinds of places won't just flat out deny you.  They know that's mean and very insensitive.  Go for it!!!

Answer 4

I am guessing, though I dont know, but it is probably against the group homes policies to allow a staff to adopt from that group home. So I would find that out first. How old are you? CAn I ask why in the group home? I wish you the best, you are right, everyone deserves a mommy:)

Answer 5

Has she expressed any desire to adopt you?  Is she allowed to do so?

You probably should talk to her and let her know.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

talk to her

nothing ventured nothing gained

good luck

Answer 8

(((((HUGS)))))

I really hope you can find a forever family....

Unfortunately this staff member may not be able to adopt for financial, emotional, and other reasons.  However, I don't think there's anything wrong with just asking her.

Another thought - try to get involved with a local church? At the very least you'll have a spiritual family.  I would call a local church (I recommend a church of Christ) and ask to speak with the minister or youth minister. Ask if you could have a ride to church, hopefully the staff will allow you to go.  If not, approach your case manager about it. Legally I think you can go.

((HUGS))

Answer 9

I was in group homes, and foster homes. never was the subject of adoption brought up. I do know that many of the group home people were just in it as a job, and they were  too young to take on someone like me. If U feel they R in the position to care for U and U believe they care for U that much than straight out ask them. To get all that off your mind. Being adopted would be super. I wish U all the best and pray U find what U R looking for!! All the best

Answer 10

You should approach the staff member & let him/her know how much he/she means to you & how they've blessed your life.  Let them know that you'd like to talk to them about something important and you'd like them to prayerfully consider it.  Let them know that you'd like them to think about adopting you & that you know it's a huge decision and that they can let you know when they've fully considered it.

There might be a rule that someone who works there can't adopt you (in our state, social workers can't adopt a child in their case load).  Keep that in mind.

Talk to your social worker about it, too, and seek his/her advice.  Ask your social worker for a counseling appointment also so that you can get some professional help no matter which way the group home employee decides (there will be emotional stuff to work through no matter what he/she decides).

I wish you all the best & hope things go well for you!

Answer 11

Sweetie, there are probably rules about the staff adopting kids at the home. You can ask her, but remember that she may have lots of things going on in her life that prevent her from having a ( nother) child. Your best chance at a happy life is doing your best in school, finding good friends and activities that you love. By spending time with good people and doing activities that you like you are more likely to meet people with common interests, and possibly some one who wants to be a parent.

Good luck.

Answer 12

Talk to her...