I want to help my daughter through all this?

Question

I'm a single father (widower for a long time) with 3 kids - 14yo boy, 13yo boy and 12yo girl (Ema). Ema got raped by one criminal and got pregnant. She didn't want a child but I made her keep it and go through the whole pregnancy. I think it's the right thing to do and I don't believe in abortion. Now she is in 6th month with a girl. She usually gets along with her brothers (they share a room). Anyway recently she seems angry and acts stubborn. When she gets too far, I spank her - none other discipline method has worked, but taking her pants off and 4-5 good bare-hand swats on the butt (in front of her brothers, so she would be a little humiliated too and wouldn't want it happen again) work great. But I have the feeling she needs a woman in that part of her life. I have female friends but I don't find them appropriate to be her role-models.

Do you think that would help? Would any woman be able to just become Ema's friend and talk to her about all her concerns?

Answer 1

Very disturbing.  I honestly hope this is fake.  Otherwise I'd report you to the police.  

*you made your daughter keep a baby from a rape

*You spank her with her pants down IN FRONT of her brothers

*you make her sleep in the same room with her older brothers- a girl needs her privacy... a pregnant girl needs it even more.

I would seriously wonder if you and/or her brothers are sexually abusing her.  I think you should be investigated by CPS.  If I knew you- I'd report you in a split second.

She definitely needs a positive role model in her life- and yes it should be a woman... she needs a mom and needs to be the h**l away from YOUR house.

Answer 2

you are not making things better by spanking her. if this girl was raped than it is understandable that she is angry. for your sake and this childs sake-because thats what she is-is a child go to therapy.she needs support ...positive support. if you get angry with her because shes out of control then leave her but makes sure shes safe where she is and come back when your both calm. you cannot reason or make good decisions when you angry.

Answer 3

Why do you people make stories up about things that actually do affect people. It is not a joke.

Answer 4

Is this real! You spank you 12 yr old pregnant daughter? I am for spanking but there is a limit and especially for girls 12 is already passed that limit!

You had no right to 'make' her keep the baby and she definitely would need counseling for going through something like that!

I don't believe this is a real question, if it is, you really will not be winning father of the year award.

Answer 5

Oh my gosh if this is for real ..which i do not believe for one minute at the moment why would you spank a 'girl' that's been raped and is pregnant ...way to extreme and you need parenting classes if this is how you treat a pregnant child !

Answer 6

probably a councillor would be good for her. im pretty sure you can find rape or s*x councellors so give that ago. also YOU need to support her. without a man in her life and being so young she needs someone who she can trust to not run away. be there for her and help her with the baby. she needs to have people and friends to stick to in this emotional moment. Also making her feel normal would be good.

p.s its probably all the hormones making her stubborn and such. let her know that you know its a hard time for her and  at least try and introduce her to your woman friends (maybe through email) if you cant find a councellor

Answer 7

Hi - Im sorry to hear of your family's strife; the loss of your wife, and the problems that you dauhter is having to face without her mother by her side.

I understand that you wanted her not to abort the baby - will she be putting her up for adoption?  At any time, pregnancy and parenthood is a magnificent task - but at 12 years old after being raped, I couldn't imagine.

I think that you forcing her to continue this pregnancy is a push toward maturity in her life; and in this case you shouldn't really be spanking her.  As a pregnant woman (which is what being pregnant makes her) she shouldn't be being spanked - by her father; or a partner or sibling - it just isn't right!  

After she has already been subjected to the abuse of rape - do you really think it appropriate to remove her pants and spank her in front of her siblings?? And being 6 months pregnant (as I currently am!) give her some lee-way for her attitude, the hormones flying round her body are horrendous - and of course she will act angry - SHE WAS RAPED, and is having to carry the baby like some sort of punishment - what do you want her to do, skip around and be merry?? She is reacting in a perfectly normal way! Has she not been through enough already - you're d**n right the poor girl needs a woman in her life - someone to understand her and teach her not to be demeaned by a man.

Really... if you have chosen your own female friends - then why aren't they appropriate role models to your daughter (you cant think very highly of these so called friends) - how is someone over the internet going to be an improvement?? It could be anyone (a randy old guy who gets off on your story?) just consider that before your daughter ends up going through even more trauma.

I feel terrible for the misfortune your family has suffered, and please accept my apologies if you found my response harsh at times.

I am a mother to two young girls and I just cannot fathom some of your values - and if either of my daughters became pregnant from a rape at any age, I wouldn't put them through the torture of carrying that monster's baby.  I dont agree with abortion, but in cases of either rape or incest I think it is the best solution for the poor girl/woman in question.

Good luck with everthing - and I wish your daughter all the luck in the world with getting on with her life.  I would suggest counselling as a good start, they wont judge her - it wasn't her fault - please make this much clear to her.

Answer 8

I think this story is vile.

If this story is true then im sorry and my heart goes out to ema.  Call yourself a father.

Answer 9

shes moody because of the baby (hormones) and because of her age its during puberty so her hormnoes r going to all wacked. a role model would help tho as especially when shes pregnant and has no mother around to suport her she would need someone to relate to.

Answer 10

and people say I am a crappy parent. you make me feel better,.

Answer 11

WTF??lolz

i dont belive this story

sorry

Answer 12

First of all...the fact that you are looking for a woman to correspond through e-mail with your daughter is suspicious. Why would you want your child to talk to any stranger. You seem like a creep to me. Why on earth would any respectable father take off his 12 year-old daughter's (pregnant non the less!!!) pants AND in front of her brothers and spank her? That is disgusting and wrong on so many levels. If this is infact a true story and you're not just some creepy man on the internet looking for his jollies, then she is being angry and stubborn because you're a complete idiot and her hormones are through the roof. Sharing a room with her brother's at 12 and while being pregnant? GROSS. Get a life!

Answer 13

You're either a troll or a criminal. We're bored with questions like these.

Answer 14

i believe in spanking your children too, but i think at a certain age you should stop. especially when theyre pre teens or teenagers because they will just rebel. shes getting hormonla because she is pregnant. and for respect of her own privacy, since you take her pants off i think its too traumatic since she got raped. if you still consider spankings, just keep her pants on. it would have been ok if she was an 8 yr old little girl but now ses growing up to be a young woman. i cant immagine how humiliating it would be if my father did that to me at that age. but her stopping how she behaved might be because of the humiliation and not because she knows she should stop doing it and that its wrong.

it must be hard to be a single father, but yet youre going to need a woman to do some parts in her life. maybe church... a nce lady that would gladly participate in her life and help her through it

Answer 15

i don't believe you, and i REALLY hope your making this up. this story is sick, wrong, and the fact that you spank her w/ her pants down in front of her older brothers makes me gag.

If this story is true i want you arrested because your making your twelve year old daughter give birth from a rape. either your a desperate sicko or someone who needs to be arrested [pretty much the same things]. But my god  shes twelve, was raped, your forcing her to give birth, and you spank her bare behind in front of her older brothers. This is probably some scam to get women to email you. And if this story is true, get abortion! I'm sorry but one she doesn't want a babe. two you sicken me by making her keep the babe. three give the girl your room and share the boys room [she needs privacy!] This story makes me gag.

If its real i wish you ema and the babe goodluck in life.

Answer 16

If this is a joke its not funny at all.

if this is true why is she not in counseling???

I think thats all I will say.

Answer 17

First she needs her own room,for some privacy.Did you ever think when your spanking her,your spanking a pregnant girl.The baby is going to tie her down the rest of her life.Did you ever think of adoption?And maybe she thinks you took the guys side,after all you made her keep HIS baby.You have alot to figure out.

                         Luck to you and your family

                                                               Debbie O

Answer 18

FIRSTLY you should spank her on her hand or her back . But not on her behind... Dear god she's becoming a young lady, she's tense about her preganncy, don't pull her pants down in front of her brothers it's not right for her phsycological background. girls are really discrete & tend to keep theri body a secret to females themselves.

& if possible speak in a discipline manner to her & not spank her she's becoming older & older & she might rebel by time against your spanking it makes her feel so young.

yes a female would help her, but don't bring any lady home just for your daughter..if things are not showing she's able to be invited in - leave her out of your family yet.

Don't feel you're not able to help her due that you're a father not a mother. You can help her feel this way by getting insite of her circumstance as a pregnant girl I believe you already have an idea from your three previous births with your wife. So you can find her & let her know of what to expect next.. & ask her about how things are feeling so you can keep in co-ordination with her preganncy along..

It would help her alot the feeling of having her pregnancy being tracked. As herself being in her first birth & at the age she may continously be in doubt of what to do & what to not .. what can harm the baby if she's conscious enough about the situation.

everything you do , don't pressure her even if it's for her own good.. let her know but don't make her do it...& stop this spanking in front of her brothers.. They tend to be child-minded like all the boys of that age & take her situation with no serious thoughts.

Just please don't make her feel alone at home as a female having the most femminine situation in a female.. help her talk to her about how she's feeling..rest her mind by letting her know things are normal as they are. ask her about any pains.

I'm a guy myself but with my dumb ideas I still ry my best to make you understand how to make her feel. because this can affect her character a lot which will affect the child also.

But it's important to keep you're daughter priority also & not her - "in belly" only . Try not to always talk to her about her baby - let her know she's stil lpresent at home Ema as before your daughter with her two brother & hr father..so sometimes try to forget the baby & talk fora few mins about her , school, any friends, her brothers ...all of you as a family..

God bless you all!