I want to know why people seem to think young mothers are not good mothers?

Question

I am a 19 year old with a 4 month old son. I work as a lpn at a hospital, I am married, and I attend a university as a pre-medical student. My son has everything he needs and more. I just don't understand why people are always bashing young moms, most of us take care of our children just as good as older moms sometimes better. Anything an older mom does for her child I do for my son. So what is the problem? And please don't say because you haven't lived your life yet because my life is wonderful and I am still able to go out with friends and have a good time .

Answer 1

u have a totally awesome point...

but typically to be a good parents u should be responsible.....and a lot of the times the girls who are go out and get pregnant werent being responsible in the first place...but they realize that haivng a baby comes with a whole new degree of responsibility and they usually  do what they are supposed to...but the rest of the world (who shouldnt be judging in the first place) doesnt think thta...they think that like wisdom resposnsibilty somes with age...and young mothers dont have that...

but i dont believe that becuase it depnds more on the person and her character then her age i mean age is nothing but a numerical figure

and i really want to congratulate you becuase im guessing ppl bashed u abt being a young mother and i really admire that u got a life anyway

Answer 2

I was/am a young mom. I'm the youngest mom sitting in the waiting room at dance classes, the bleachers of cheer leading and games, the youngest volunteer at school. You know what? Only maybe, 2 moms speak to me. I have no idea what is up some peoples butts- but I've learned to ignore it. I only care that MY children are happy and MY children are getting a good life with a lot of love and forget those people.

There are a few young moms I know that DO NOTHING with their kids and it gives us all a bad name.

Ignore people.

Answer 3

Young mothers are sterotyped into not finishing school, not having jobs, being run-aways, living off of welfare, and every other thing a child would do if forced into the real world. I became a mother at 19, pregnant at 18. I planned my pregnancy. We weren't rich, but we made it work. My husband didn't graduate high school (not due to my pregnancy) because he had problems at home and was kicked out. I lived with my parents until 18 until I saw how controlling they were. I learned from what his mother did to him and by how my two parents treated me. I know that money, having your own house, and being successful have little to do with being a good parent.

I think people think young mothers aren't good at being mothers because they're inexperienced, dumb, and too young. My mother in law had my husband at 18 (pregnant at 17 during high school) and she often hints at me "not bonding" and "not mothering" my daughter. I get very upset with her sly attitude.

I think as long as we know we're providing for our children, keeping them clothed, fed, happy, and healthy, we are good parents. I can say that I feel I am a better parent than my husband's mother, but I prefer not to stoop to her level and judge every parent she knows.

Good luck, young mothers might have to work harder, but that sure doesn't mean we can't raise our children!

Answer 4

First of all let me agree with you that just because you are a young mom doesn't mean you are not a good mom.  Obviously you love your children and you are providing for them.  I can answer this question from experience.  I was a young father at 18 and I know now, that at 43, I would be a more patient and wiser parent than I was at 18.  I hope that makes sense and keep being the best mom you can!

Answer 5

It comes down to statistics, on the average most young mother DO NOT take care of their children,,  grandma and/or grandpa take care of them..

On the average most young mother are  leave school without graduating and get on welfare and up until recently stated on it.

sadly the good young mothers are few and far between.  I know more bad young mothers then I do good ones.  SO the good ones have to take the back lash from the bad ones , it is just that way.

Answer 6

I am the mother of 4. I had my first at 21 and my last at 40. The question is was I a better mother at 40 ..GOD YES!!! But I think I was also a good mother at 21. I know what bothers me most about young mothers is that you give up so much of your life for something that you could do later and better when your older. Medical school and an internship and residency is demanding to put it mildly , let alone with a youngster. Impossible...no.. but harder. Would it not have been a better choice to wait until after you completed such a time consuming and demanding career choice?

Answer 7

ZAY for one writing in caps is just silly i for one cannot read YOUR rant !

As for this questions just cause your life is great its not the same for all teen mums and for you to think this way is just silly, girls get pregnant for the sake of it in some cases couldn't be arsed with protection or a one night stand and then its their parents who have to raise another child ..so before you rant... think about things first !

Answer 8

Because they are ignorant, and generalize them all into one group. They fail to see that a good precentage of them are doing great, and supporting themselves. I was pregnant, married and moved 2200 miles at 17. Bought my house at 19 on an acre, 2 miles off the lake! So obviously we arent irresponsible, and not supporting ourselves. How else would our credit be running at 720??? Can the "older" parents say the same....most of the time no they cant. It's fine though, just do what you do, make a life...and laugh at the ignorant ones that haven't done 1/2 of what you have at double or triple your age. You guys will be fine! Your doing great! just keep with it, and enjoy that lil one! They get big so fast!

Edit* Oh, and a little bit of ironic info...pull the stats on the age of gov. assistance recieving people...the MAJORITY are older parents! Not younger ones. Check out the lines at the store the day WIC checks are recieved...most people with them aren't teens or young mom's...they are older people with a bunch of kids that look like trash! So that accuisation is made out of statistical ignorance.

Answer 9

Because even though there are some good young moms out there like you, there a lot of girls that get pregnant young that can barely take care of themselves let alone a baby, and its a huge freakout for them to clean up a snotty nose or a dirty diaper. The few bad young moms make the good ones look bad.

Answer 10

Too me your not a young mother a young mum to me is 18 or under although some teen mums are great looking after their child there are some who think its the job of their parents to do the taking care and to me thats not even trying to be a good mum, although your life is good its not like that for some other younger mums

Answer 11

girl i feel the same way now im a lot younger than you im 17 and i have a two year old daughter but im an a+ student in school im a certified nurses assistant i have a wonderful bf that loves my daughter to death and i live on my own she has everything she has really nice clothes and probably a better time in life than what i did when i was that young i get bashed a lot im graduating on time with my class this next school year and im still in a public school i love my daughter with all my heart now what makes that so bad i planned my pregnancy i knew what it would take im actually not supposed to live until my 27th birthday thanks to a birth defect but im living my life for the now

Answer 12

"most of us take care of our children just as good as older moms sometimes better"

No, you're the exception to the rule.

Most young mothers I know, especially teenagers, are awful parents, and are inattentive and irresponsible (not surprisingly, that's how they got pregnant). I actually don't even refer to them as "moms", I call them "babysitters"; they do not have the drive to care for their children, leaving relatives and friends to pick up the slack for the sake of the child. They think that changing a diaper, bathing a toddler, and feeding an infant makes you a mom. It doesn't, there's a lot more to it than that.

It's also a matter of resources available. An older mom is more likely to have an education, hold down a stable job, be in a stable relationship, and have real-world experiences that a younger mom would not.

Answer 13

I AM 20 YEARS OLD AND I HAD MY DAUGHTER WHEN I WAS 18. I THINK THAT THEY SEE US AS IMMATURE GIRLS THAT AREN'T RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY, AND SINCE MOST TEENAGE MOTHERS HAVE THEIR BABIES AND LEAVE IT UP TO THE GRANDPARENTS TO RAISE THEM THEY THINK THAT WE ARE ALL THE SAME. BUT LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING I BELIEVE THAT I AM A GREAT MOM I HAVE ALWAYS TAKEN GOOD CARE OF MY DAUGHTER I FEED HER WELL I PLAY WITH HER I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO HER AND YES I STILL HAVE TIME TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN AND ANYWHERE I GO I TAKE HER I HARDLY EVER LEAVE HER WITH MY MOM AND ONE OF MY OLDER FRIENDS IS 27 YEARS OLD AND HER BABY IS 6 MONTHS OLD AND SHE IS VERY SELFISH WITH HER BABY SHE ALWAYS LEAVES HIM AT HER MOTHERS AND FEEDS HIM THE WRONG STUFF SHE TREATS HIM MORE LIKE A TOY THAN HER SON AND LOOK SHE IS ALREADY 27. THEY JUST JUDGE YOUNG MOM BECAUSE THEY ARE IGNORANT. AGE DOES NOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A GOOD MOM.