I want to laugh!!! please try and make me laugh?

Question

ummmm well yeah. just say some funny stories, jokes, quotes, etc. im really bored

Answer 1

Why was the Blonde snorting Splenda?

Because she thought it was Diet Coke!

LOL, LOl, LOl  ;-)

Answer 2

lol. hope u like blonde jokes :)

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

--------------------------------------...

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

--------------------------------------...

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take

the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"

--------------------------------------...

Hope This Made You Laugh :))

Answer 3

Tickle tickle tickle I hope I am tickling You where it tickles.

Answer 4

i'm g*y i'm an ailen oh yes MAN I AM A JAMICAIN i am not a jammmy dodger ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh man man man yes that's right yes OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES hehehhehe  

Answer 5

Three couples went out camping.  The three husbands stayed in one tent and the three wives stayed in the other. At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"

Bill woke up and asked, "What's going on?"

Bob said, "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife."

"How come?"

"To have s*x! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my life!"

After a pause, Bill said, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"h**l, no! Why would I want you to do that?"

"Because that's mine you're holding."

Answer 6

If your the "awesomest person in the world" you should be able to entertain yourself.  Better yet, entertain us!

Answer 7

Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and 12,000 severed heads?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage...

Answer 8

Two men died. Came back to life, lived for 2 days, died again, stayed dead for 3 1/2 days, Came back alive, became drunk, got hit by a car, died and stayed dead for 5 1/3 days, someone robbed there graves, they came back alive a zombies, killed the person who robbed there graves,

And badda bing.....

No really if you wanna laugh wwatch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDrRrZdz8...

Answer 9

PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY

PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT