I want to love my husband and want to forget ex_lover?

Question

i.m married girl before my marriage i have loved 1 person i have spoken to him then i forgot him he also married . in my college days i have sighted more persons and also loved more persons. after my engagement i loved very much my husband i was very close to my husband even physically not close. but after marriage i don't know whether i like him or not. i feel now he is not beautiful i remember my past loving experience please help me i want to forget ex_lover and to love my husband.

Answer 1

First of all, Love is not something that you get if you want it and can be forced to be felt.  Why would you WANT to love a person whom you find so difficult to love? If it's only because you fell into a commitment and is married to him, then there's no way you can force yourself to do so, once love goes it's beyond your control to grab it back into your heart again.  

Answer 2

piece of advice? stop playing with fire cause that is what you are doing otherwise you will get burned and your famous ex lover will not be around to put it out for you lady!

Answer 3

You cannot force yourself to love somebody. Its a feeling and emotion. Love is always true. You can not just show off your love if you are not in love with the person. But, like as you said you are married so you should develop the emotions and feelings for him. You should be honest with him. Love will happen sometime but just be honest with him. You will start loving him. Have patience.

Answer 4

Look at some of the reasons why you married your husband.How can you make such a decison when you question your love for them?

If your marriage needs help go see a marriage counselor .  

Answer 5

I understand.  I had this problem with my ex-fiance.  I still kind of have it but not as bad.  One thing that people will tell you to do that I advise you not to do, at least right away.  Don't throw away any mementos of your ex that you might have.  If you throw them away now, you will regret it.  Look at your husband and see the good things he brings to your life that your ex didn't.  Embrace those good things.  You can't MAKE yourself forget someone, but you can allow time to come in and fade them a bit.

If you love your ex, the love will ALWAYS be there, just not in the same way.  If you aren't in love with him but you think about him, that will pass faster.  Good luck with your husband.  I hope you find happiness.

Answer 6

Remedies to a physical/mental building experience:

Have s*x - If its like boneing a bag of sand then you obviously have some problems.

Ask Him if he loves you- if he gives you a dumbass answer you also have some problems

Use this step if Steps 1 & 2 failed:

Punch him in the face then flash him your b***s... if his response is "im gonna go watch the game" you win. If he says "you crazy *****!" then you also win. (its a win-win).. morever a (whynn whynn) if your asain.  

Answer 7

You guys have to fill each others love tanks. Yours sounds empty. This means you have to be spontanious with each other for the rest of your lives. Just because your married or even if you have kids, doesn't mean that you can't be imaginative and experimentive with each other.

Get creative. Send naughty and sweet e-mails, Get a blanket and stargaze, flirt with each other, you know, put some spice into your relationship.

If your hubby is in love with you and you're in love with him, then this will be fun and also send your marriage soaring!

Answer 8

Tell him he made a mistake file for divorce and life a lifestyle that is more you.

Answer 9

You need to stop thinking about the ex.  Stop thinking about the ex and focus on the wonderful things your hubby brings to the table.  Your ex is not as great as you remember him.  People only remember the good times, not the bad.  Your relationship with the ex was not all good.  It is better with your hubby-if it wasn't you wouldn't have married him.  Give it time and you will completely forget the ex and only have eyes for your hubby.  I think to fully get over any break-up it takes about 5 years.

Answer 10

.

Honestly, I got a problem with that... because I always believed that nobody can be forced to love or even like somebody he / she dislikes and finds repugnant.

Thank goodness your case is not that extreme and there is still a big opportunity to get things to work out well.

You said you did feel love and devotion for him while you were engaged but once being married you do not feel these things anymore for him… I guess you have had so many romantic ideas how your marriage would be like and fantasized about it a lot and suddenly you find out that day-to-day life can be simply very odd once the honeymoon has finished.

It happened to you, to me, to many people… but it’s just a small crisis everybody has after getting married.

Just think what would have happened if you would have married your ex… and please be fair! Don’t loose yourself in romantic ideas and wishful thinking.

Just think about everyday life, your daily duties, and the duties of your husband, the stress, and work… If you are fair towards your husband and yourself you will realize that married life with your ex would have turned into the same routine…

It´s just unfair to think that yours with your ex would have been a honeymoon for all eternity.

Grow up and mature!

And talking about beauty… gosh! What the h**l is beauty?? Today somebody may be beautiful and tomorrow loose his beauty… anyway, before marriage you regarded your husband as beautiful, right?

So now your mind and heart is full of shadows and that´s why you do not see the beauty of the other person anymore.

You are making a big mistake and if you don´t get real you will probably loose the most important person in your life who is your husband.

Try to be happy and try to use all the free time you have to spend it with your husband.

Make love and not war!

You will see that you are married with the right man and that he surely has his beauty as well and what is even more important, a good heart.

Good luck, I hope you succeed.

Answer 11

Forget about your ex lover and stop thinking of that person who served

you no good. Remind yourself why you married your spouse. What things attracted you? for the help of church groups will help you rekindle your commitment to your wedding vows.

Answer 12

Marriage has to be worked at, it's not easy.

It's always easier to look back into the past and remember the good times with someone you were into, but there's a reason you broke up with all of those other people, you aren't remembering the problems you had with them. Your senses at the time you were dating these other people told you that it wasn't a match, probably for reasons that are evading you right now. Women can tell if a man is going to be husband materials, someone who can provide, work with you equally, run a household, holds similar values as you do regarding children and how to treat each other.

You chose your husband based on your past experiences and you should let go of other people. They are not the same as you remember them and they too have grown, married, started families, and by going backwards you are not progressing in your marriage with your husband. Unless your husband is hurting you I wouldn't give up on trying to rekindle the fire. Let go and let it happen.