I want to marry my boyfriend, but he hasn't asked yet. ?

Question

I am 28 and he is 25. We have been together for 2 years and lived together for 1 year. We have talked about getting married and having children but he still hasn't asked me! This conversation happened 6 months ago. how do i tell him i'm ready for marriage without seeming to rush him!! I don't want to push him away!!!!!!!! But i'm really ready to start a family!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I am going through the same thing....just waiting for him to pop the question! I had to give him a break (aka "taking a break") and now he is realizing that he wants to be with me. Maybe try spending less time with him or really express your frustrations and how you feel. Sometimes they just need a little push or they would never do anything! He probably thinks you are okay with waiting or something...

Answer 2

well you can give him a sign to let him know that your ready for marriage

Answer 3

Wait, I waited 2 years for an engagement, and 6 months later I don't wear my ring and don't consider myself engaged. Everything changed and went downhill afterward, so don't rush it.  

Answer 4

bring it up suddlely...."We should get married someday" etc. or take him to the mall and walk him in a jewelry store and look at a diamond ring, just stare at it and say, "isn't it beautiful?"

Answer 5

He'll ask when he's ready, but if you want to start leave subtle (or not-so subtle) hints, leave a bridal magazine lying around.  

Answer 6

So ask him

Answer 7

The typical way to let someone know you're ready for marriage involves a romantic setting and the words "will you marry me?" or some variation thereof.  

Answer 8

He hasnt asked you yet because he isnt ready! Just give him a bit of time. I understand that you are ready to marry and have a family, but unfortunately he isnt. You have to respect that, stay as you are and when he is ready to propose, he will :) Good luck!

Answer 9

If you are ready to marry this man then you should be ready to have a frank conversation about it with him.  There are no subtleties when it comes to this.

Answer 10

I waited 5 and 1/2 years for a proposal. You don't want to force anything. Wait until you are both ready.  

I hate to say it, but you may have made a mistake by moving in with him. Why would he want to get married, if he is already getting all of the benefits of a marriage without the commitment? A friend of mine was living with her boyfriend, but when he would not commit, she moved out. Two years later, she got married to a different man, entirely.

Answer 11

This is the modern era- you could ask him.  But if he is a traditionalist he will probably be turned off by that.  I waited two years to get engaged.  He is only 25 and quite frankly men are usually not ready to get married until they are 28 or older.  Many experts suggest that if you want to have a lasting marriage with a man you should wait until he is 29 or 30 to tie the knot.  Then they actually feel their age to some degree and are more ready to settle down.  You are in a tough spot because he is younger than you.  Your biological clock is ticking loudly I'm sure.  The idea of going to a jewelry store and showing him what you like is a good one.  Of course if he doesn't have the money for a ring there are other things to consider.  If he is not financially stable enough to buy a ring on a payment plan how will he be with bills when you are married?  Any debts incurred after you're married belong to both of you.  He may want to make the proposal perfect and he may want to get you the perfect ring.  If he doesn't think he can afford it he may not feel that he is worthy of you yet.  He may not be proposing because he wants to make sure he is financially able to take care of you before he proposes.  If you are really not willing to wait you need to let him know and have a serious discussion with him.  Tell him you don't want to pressure him but the reality is you are going to simply by letting him know you are ready... he will feel pressured.  You can't avoid this.  It is a horrible catch 22.  You have to understand and he has to understand that both of your feelings are valid.  He doesn't want to be pressured and you don't want to wait.  Hopefully he can understand that you don't want to pressure him and hopefully he can be happy that you feel so certain that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and have a family with him.  If you can get him to think of it as a badge of honor and accomplishment that he is so great, it might be easier for him to hear.  You might want to consider having a long engagement though.  Like two years minimum.  That will give you time to work out any additional relationship kinks before you are legally bound.  You still have plenty of time to have a family.  Don't worry.

Answer 12

He's apparently either not ready to ask you or is enjoying the situation of you living together too much to make a formal commitment to you.

I agree you have the potential to push him away if you push this issue too much.  If the last conversation happened about 6 months ago, maybe you could ask him if he has a time line in mind for when he'd like to get married.  Since you are at the point where you would like to start having a family, I think it's OK to find out where he's at on the issue.  If you're in a rush and he wants to wait, you may not be right for each other.

Remember to be tactful, honest and non-confrontational about it.  If you hound him about it, chances are he will bolt.  

Good luck.

Answer 13

why would a man want to buy the milk when he has the cow?

leave! lol and see if he won't ask you to marry him? sometimes we don't know what we have until we lose it! GOOD LUCK!! but don't ask him to marry you, okay? it'll cause probs later on.

Answer 14

You just need to have a conversation again.  You need to say, "So, what do you want out of our relationship"   It's your life and you have a right to ask.  IMO, I might even consider moving out.  My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years.  I will not move with him until I have a ring on my finger.  I'm not trapping myself in a relationship that's going no where.  

I'm not saying to pressure him.  But, be honest.  Ask him what's going on, what he wants for his future (trying making this about him) and where he seems himself in a few years.   If those plans don't seem to include you, walk away.

Answer 15

Hum mm, an honest conversation about what you both want in life. Also, mention that you would like to set a date.It does not even have to be for this or the next calender year. Just let him know how you truly feel.

Answer 16

If your out to work, you should put a cute note or something somewhere where he'll be sure to read it and ask him on there to marry you and to call with the answer.

Or before you go to sleep, put the note on top or on the bottom of him pillow so he'll be sure to get it.

Better yet, the other side of the blanket so when he lifts it up, he'll feel the paper and get it :)

Answer 17

Do what i always do. i just put the question in the answer in a run on sentences. hope it works. and he hasn't asked you yet cause he isn't ready

Answer 18

just ask him stright out  

Answer 19

my crystal ball  is telling me he is just having a nice time with you.

Answer 20

I was in the SAME situation last year, and I know how frustrating it can be. My fiance and I had been together over two years, and actually living together for a year and a half. We had talked about marriage a lot, and we knew that this was it...yet...no proposal. Finally, I talked to him and asked where he stood with it and what kind of timeline he saw. Basically, I let him know that I was willing to wait some time, but I wasn't going to wait forever, because I too wanted to start a family.

I would talk to your fiance and just see where his head is at. Ask him what he sees your future looking like. If he says he wants to get married in another two years, ask yourself if that's okay with you. If you are willing to wait that long, then fine. But if two years comes and goes with no proposal, time to kick him to the curb in my opinion.

Some people would def. disagree with me and say "Oh if you love eachother it shouldn't matter." But it does, because you have things you want to get accomplished in your life. And if he isn't along for the ride, then it's not meant to be. Hopefully in your case it works out like it did for me. We were engaged a few months after that! Turns out my fiance was waiting on my ring :)

Good luck!

Answer 21

My wife and I went shopping and she took me into the jewelry store and showed me what type of ring she wanted and then said, just so you know when your ready.  

I thought it was a cool way of letting me know she was ready but not pushing it.