I wanted to end the marriage nonths ago, now he's ended it and Im gutted! WHy? ?

Question

I wanted to end the marriage at Easter. he BEGGED me for another chance & to go to counselling. I did against my better judgment. Now he has ended it saying that counselling made him wake up that we werent right for each other... and that he's met someone else.

We are trying to be amicable. I know its the right thing to do. So why am I gutted, depressed. tummy hurting etc?

Answer 1

So your not yet divorced and he found someone else, wow, I know the feeling, just divorced after 31 years. You cared for this person this is why it hurts so bad, the ex and I haven't lived under one roof for three years, the pain for me is less now than it was three years ago, but you need to find something to help you get over this pain, join some clubs, get out there and do something with your life, wishing you the best.  

Answer 2

Because you now know that he is going after someone else instead of working it out with you.  Next just be careful in what you ask for, you might just get it sooner than you think.

Answer 3

Probably because it wasnt you doing the 'ending' and it was on his terms. Sorry to hear youre having a rough time xx

Answer 4

probably because he got in their first and you feel betrayed that he did what you should have done,like he took your rights and inner thoughts and control away from you.

sounds like he was playing a game and wanted to reject you befor you rejected him to prove a point.you sound well rid.

also its normal to feel grief whatever the circumstance when youve lost someone,your body and mind will get over it in time and im sure theres someone much better out there for you.you wait and see!

Answer 5

You are mourning the loss of your relationship.  It's natural, and it means that you loved him deeply.

Obviously he didn't deserve your love, or emotional investment.  Which I'm sure being cast aside like an old shoe has only deepened the pain you are feeling.

You need to let yourself grieve.  It's healthy and necessary.  But that isn't to say you can't distract yourself as much as possible while you are healing.  Just take it one day at a time.