I was abused as a child and never had a boyfriend , ?

Question

when i was at school i was abused sexually by a family member and because of this ive never had a boyfriend, i cringe evertime ne1 cums near me, really want a boyfriend now as im 20 year old and have so much love to give , how do i overcome this i have low self esteem becasue im curvy i feel ugly and fat and feel that i will always be on my own. please help

Answer 1

yeah you need proffesional help.

Answer 2

You really need some professional counselling but it is important not to let the animal who ruined your childhood now ruin the rest of your life.

Answer 3

don't worry what other people say believe in yourself your pretty you just need to believe in yourself  

Answer 4

It is natural that you feel as you do.

But you were not guilty, therefore you are still unique which makes you special.

Join some club or take up volunteering.    Relationships will develop naturally.

You will be in my prayers.

Answer 5

Counselling basically.  Go and see your GP and get referred or at least a pointed in the right direction.

Answer 6

Get some professional help...maybe a Christian therapist would be even better.  Just remember that GOD doesn't make junk and most of all, He sees your heart and loves you from the inside out.

Answer 7

I'm afraid that's right , counselling would be the best way to go and a self help group . It will bring back your self asteem and make you realise what everyone is probably telling you , that it's not your fault and you should never blame yourself or punish yourself by denying yourself love and a boyfriend that can share this love with you . and maybe marriage and children down the line , if that's what you wish .

At counselling your not alone there will be many people that has the same thing happen to them and if you've ever heard the saying " A problem shared , is a problem halfed " Its sooooooo true !

So call your doctor and go talk to him about counselling , he/she will direct you to a group or even a physiologist NOT a shrink ok that's not what i mean at all there's a big difference . Some work in groups and some one on one , whatever you want and you dont have to go alone , take someone close to you with you , even to the doctors if it makes you feel better ok .

So please please go see a professional they truely will help .

I wish you all the best and all the love in the world , good luck ! Xx

Answer 8

as much as you might not like this answer please read it... i strongly suggest that you speak to a therapist, i reliase that people are so agaisnt this but i think it can only help, you have been through a horrific ordeal and and you arent expected to deal with this yourself, its normal to feel the way you do right now, it wont last forever, give yourself time to heal, allow yourself to feel this way, its natural...

do you know how good it is that you want a boyfriend, it shows how strong you are, im 100% sure that your low self esteem is a temporary thing, please please go see your gp and suggest that you see something just for a chat.. it really helps to talk about things, be able to go through details that you never could before, it helps more than i can express here....

consider it and good luck :)

Answer 9

I have to agree with all the people recommending therapy. Of course, the best therapy is alcohol. That's right, get drunk with some friends at a bar...you'll lose your inhibitions and learn how to talk to the opposite s*x. Then later, when you're sober, try to talk to a guy at the grocery store or a bank or something. If you open up your personality...guys will drive in like Indy cars! Before you know it, you'll be handing out your phone number and having guys call you. You can get comfortable with them on the phone and then when you go out you'll already be comfortable with their personality.

Answer 10

Aww dont feel ugly! Every girl is a beauty both on the inside and on the outside. You have to think possitive and remember your pretty. Maybe Joining a club or something will give you more confidence in yourself to see how great you really are. I know its hard but try forget the past and think of the future and be possitive that good things will happen. Maybe you might not get a boyfriend right now but you should wait till the right person comes along then it be more special. Dont put yourself down keep that head up high and smile....your beautiful! :)