I was adopted and i need help finding my birth mother?

Question

I was born may 18th 1974 in syosset new york and my birth name was kenneth joseph smith. My birth mother was puerto rican and she was born in 1958 and she gave me up at the age of 16 yrs old. Her hair was long and black and she supposely had big eyes. Both her and my birth father was forbidden to see each other but from what i was told it didnt stop them. I believe i was born 1:15 in the morning and i bad exema, and my feet were turned out. Spence-chapin handled my adoption, i have gotten obessed with trying to find my birth mother because i have the right to know who she is, i supposely have 2 sisters and 1 brother who are younger than me and my mothers mom which is my grandmother supposely had a heart attack. My birth mother talked to her social worker in 2001 to give information about her mother and childrens thats she has and apparently i was told that they know of me i have tried everything to find her and to no avail. Syosset is small town back then someone has to know somethin

Answer 1

Have you checked the New York State Birth Index?  Your original birth certificate has the same number as your amended one.  Go and look it up on the index (I think it is at the New York City Library???) and see if you can find your mother's original name there.  I know this has been helpful for other New York adoptees.  I hope it is helpful for you.  Good luck.

ETA: Romany's Answer rocks.  Sorry for the misinfo.  I didn't know it was a county thing.  Just trying to help.

Don't give up.

Answer 2

Check here for search help - and links to search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

They are free - and they may be able to help you with your search.

For anyone searching - I would suggest placing your details on on-line registries - here are a couple I would start with -

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/

(click on the page marked 'Searchers' down the left hand side)

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

Answer 3

you have to get over it. your mother gave you up for a reason. she wanted to let you live a normal life. yeah i no its hard but she doesnt want to be a part of your life. get over it

Answer 4

Since you were born in Nassau County and not in NYC, the State birth index is sealed for 75 years - so it won't do you any good.

Where did you get all the information from?  Spence-Chapin's post adoption services?  If you haven't spoken to them in a while - call again.  They periodically change their definition of what information they are allowed to give out.  Have you registered with the NYS adoption registry?  That is the only way for a first parent and adopted adult to get contact information on each other if both register.  Your siblings can register too, if they are at least 18.

You can also support NYS bills A2277 and S235 - write your state assemblymember and state senator!  Go to www.unsealedinitiative.org for more details.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Hi Sean

When I was about your age, my twin sister and I hired a private investigator who found our mother in just a couple of weeks.

The actual meeting was a train-wreck, but I would be the last person to discourage you from finding her.

Good luck to you - and prepare yourself for the worst [my sister went into therapy for years].