I was adopted and...?

Question

I would like to know a good way to find my biological mother. I know her name, well what it was when she was 14 (when she had me) and I was adopted in San Diego, CA. If anyone knows any good ways to go about finding my biological family, it would be amazing if you could share!

Answer 1

try all the open recorded... i used the voting roles to find mine maybe you can use them there...

also you might have a local paper that could print something for you too we have post and they where known to do that over in Australia

Answer 2

I too was adopted, but I have no interest in searching for my birth parent(s). You can start at the county court house. Ask for all marriage licenses issued form the time she was 16 to 29. Most often you can find her current name, or at least if she married in your birthplace. If her name was changed due to divorce you will see that in later documents. Check the divorce records after you find her marriage date and name. Check the dates carefully, they should include her birth-date, occupation and an address. Now you have a starting point. Then go to the records department. Look for deeds with her name or her husbands name. These records are all a matter of public records. You can also search criminal records. In fact this is the way my brother found his mother. She was arrested for a minor law infraction. The record was still there after 35 years.  Good Luck! But prepared for what you may find, not all reunions are peachy, some are totally bad. Two of my siblings found there parents, one was good, the other found a bi-polar, manic depressed woman. She only wants money and a place to live. She is a sick woman. Both in the mind and health. My sister tried to help, but found her to be unsafe around her children. I agree with colonel2, my parents aged 15 years in 15 minutes when my sister brought her birth mother to their door. It was the most painful thing I've ever seen in Mom and Dad's eyes. They were okay with her search as well, until sis's birth mother was standing in their family room. They wanted to be supportive, but it still hurts them, don't kid yourself. Just a word of caution.....

Answer 3

Hello from England. I went through exactly the same thing myself, a lifetime ago now, and can well understand your feelings.

Would you be prepared to take some advice from an old gentleman? I assume that you are relatively young, and would urge you to leave your search until you are much older. The people who adopted you did so because they loved you, and I cannot help but feel that, whilst I am sure they would understand your feelings, they just might be a little hurt by your decision.

I may of course be quite wrong here. Indeed, if I am, I shall be the first to apologise. But if you have a loving family now, as I am sure you do, please, please do not risk hurting them in any way.

With regards to your biological mother, there could be many reasons why you were put up for adoption, so please try not to judge her too harshly, either. But remember - those loving people who adopted you did so because they WANTED you - and still do.

Sometimes, it is perhaps better not to look too closely at the past. I did - and received one h**l of a shock, believe me.

Kindest regards, and good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

To the poster above me - not to be rude - but please do not say such things to an adoptee - as we have enough confusion going on in our hearts and minds without those that aren't adopted - and know nothing about how that feels - telling us how we should feel and whether we should search - or not.

We had a history before we were relinquished - and it should be our right to know what that history is.

Now - as for searching...............

First - place your details on the Soundex reunion register -

http://www.isrr.net/registration.shtml

It's free = and if your mother has placed her details on there - they will match you up.

Also place details here -

http://registry.adoption.com/

Read up about search and reunion - some book ideas are here -

http://origins-usa.org/Default.aspx?page...

Here are links to adoptee blogs - all in various stages of search and reunion -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Check out this site for some searching ideas -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

and

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

(click on the link for CA - about getting your non identifying info)

A great forum for adult adoptees on the internet -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

(where you'll find nothing but support)

Get ready for a rollercoaster ride. There will be loads of ups and downs. Grab all the support you can get.

BUT - it's all worth it - every minute. I have no regrets!!

Oh - also - grab a notebook - and write down every lead you get - and keep all passwords and logins to registries etc - it's good to keep it all in one place.

Also - if possible - try and ask your adoptive parents for information - they should have some - even an adoptive agency name or solicitor - someplace to start.

Other search gurus will add to all this I'm sure.

I wish you all the very best.

Answer 5

I was a foster child in and later adopted in San Diego.  If you know your birth mother's name, you might try looking at court records pertaining to her being in foster care.

In there, you may find the names of her mother, father, siblings, birth dates, addresses, etc.  Men don't change their names with marriage, so they can be easier to track.  

Also, be sure to follow up with all the great resources Possum listed.  Thanks Possum!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Hey, I was adopted from Russia. I found my dad (and half-brother) but as for my mom, I've given up- I've been searching since I was 10. I just accept that this is how it is. I wish you the best of luck, as u will have better luck than me, as she was American. Good luck!