I was given a Poetry Exercise: write a poem about “That Naked Dream we all have”.

Question

My question to you is… in your opinion; did I meet the requirements of the exercise?

"ADULT CONTENT"

"My Dream"

"A half moon filled with love

Soft sounds of waves upon a shore.

The night is still

No one around

Luke warm sands

Caress naked toes

Garments cast away

Soft sea foam beckons

Arms stretch towards silken skies

Fingers within my hair,

Lightly traveling down

Capturing my b*****s

Softly caressing

Slowly walking deeper

Reveling the sensuous touch

Invading my soul

Ecstasy is known."

Sam

Answer 1

I am quite sure you have met your requirement.  As for myself, when I dream of being naked, it's always in a crowded public space. Not the same one each time, might be anywhere.

When you decide to play on the beach nude, let me know, it sounds like fun.

Answer 2

in a way it does follow the requirements  

Answer 3

Yes you did.  

You met the requirements.

For me, that is all that you did.

Neonman gave some wonderful suggestions.

It is your dream Sam.  

For some reason I get that sense that you have caged/held back your real work.

Why?  



As a reader Samantha,

I want you to capture me, carry me away.  

Especially in a piece like this.

I know how you write.  (I have read you).

Let not the puritan opinions dictate your edits.  Write as you know.

JED

Answer 4

I would look at making the background more subtle, warming almost by the quietness of the scene.  Dance around the seduction more, you have some nice lines already developing.  I would not use the word ectasy, rather something that builds and then leaves it to the reader's imagination.  This is seduction, your seduction, planned as you would wish it to be.  The beauty to me is often in the gossamer and the hints of what is beneath.  Definitely an interesting assignment.