I was (if it even counts) sexually abused as a child. Help please?

Question

I have been totally ignorant to s*x and all and I just found out about oral s*x. I didn't know what oral s*x was! I feel like such a fool.

It must have been when I was four, because I was really little and I can hardly remember it. There was a man with me in a closet at my house. He made me suck his p***s and I did... I didn't know what I was doing at that age. And to this day i didn't even know there was a term for it. (I'm 14)

I've told my mom about it. It was a long, long time ago though. When I was in kindergarten. And I didn't say the whole truth. But that isn't the issue. (Who ever the man was I didn't remember enough about his physical appearance and there is no possible way that the man is with me now because we don't contact/live with any men)

My issue is that i'm not really upset by it. It's not like I felt pleasure by it. No, certainly not at 4 years old. It's just that I didn't know it was wrong. And even now that I understand what happened I'm still not rattled by it. And I should be. It's disgusting! Disgraceful! And I should be upset by it, right? Is it just because I don't remember it clearly? Or what?

Deepest Thanks,

Alyssa

Answer 1

look sweetie, i'm 14 too. and what happened wasn't your fault at all.

u didn't know what you were doing. u were 4!

each and everyone of us has such problems at some point...

well, at least it was just oral s*x not the whole shebang! it was ten yrs ago and its time to move on...

don't let this affect your life and everything else.don't think about it and

divert ur attention somewhere else. remember what goes around comes around.always.

Answer 2

yes, it probably is because you dont remember clearly. if your not rattled by it, you shouldnt be. i know its wrong and all but if you arent upset than why be worried about. if your still having this issue just hit me up on yahoo messenger and we can talk through this cause i couldnt understand your issue clearly. i hope this could help

Answer 3

No you did nothing disgusting. this guy whoever he was asked you to do something disgusting.. you were a little kid and it is good that it's not preying on your mind anymore. it happened 10 years ago and he did not rape you .. it was sexual abuse.. but not rape and he is out of your life so move on.. it was oral s*x. You are healthy and you were a kid who didn't know what was asked of you.. so don't feel ashamed.  it happened 10 years ago.. Don't let this get to you now..  this guy was disgusting not you.. for forcing a kid to perform oral s*x on him. You were a victim and innocent..  so let it go.  you managed so far. Don't let this mess up your life.. He is gone from your life and not worthy to be remembered...you did nothing to be ashamed about ..  he has to be ashamed.. he was a grown up and you a little kid.. forget it.. it happened a decade ago.. x*x Life your life now and don't look back xx

Answer 4

No you shouldn't be upset. You are obviously a very well balanced person with health self esteem. It wasn't your fault, you had no control over it, and you were too young to even be traumatized. Just forget about it and move on.  People spend tons of time in therapy to get to where you are right now - you are just mature enough to realize that it had nothing to do with you, so it doesn't bother you.  Don't worry!  : )    

Answer 5

I would think that the memory of it now outrages you and quite rightly so. I think that will stay with you but I am glad to read you have it in perspective.

Oral s*x is not for everyone - does everyone like the same flavour of icecream or prefer coffee instead of tea?

It's a matter of preference and, of course, chemistry.

Best wishes. UK