I was in a "ritzy" neighborhood today?

Question

My friend's dad lives in an upscale neighborhood. I went to visit her there and noticed a few things that seemed odd. We stopped to grab some ice cream in a normal shop, but the people were very different than the ones from my area of town. I don't live in a bad area or anything, but it's certainly not upscale. Anyway, I kept trying to figure out exactly what made them seem more upscale. Yes, their clothes fit a little better and seemed to be of better quality, but that wasn't the difference I was feeling. Yes, their attitudes were a little different, too, but that wasn't it. What made them seem so strange to me? If I dressed someone from my neighborhood in these people's clothes and told them to act the same way, they would still stick out like sore thumbs. What's the difference? What's the strange thing I can't explain that separates them? Thanks.

Answer 1

This would actually be a great oppurtunity to hone your powers of observation. Obviously there was something about these people that seperated them from the people you are used to, but you just can't figure out what it is. I used to love to watch the little nuances that people have. You can tell a lot about people from almost imperceptible differences in dress, behaviour and body language. If you get the oppurtunity perhaps you should go back to that ice cream shop, and just sit and watch the people for awhile. I bet with a little time you could put your finger on some of the little nuances of their behaviour that differentiates them from the people you're used to. It might be something about their body language. Perhaps the way that they make eye contact, or don't. Or perhaps they're more polite, or quieter. Maybe it's the way they talk, do they swear less, or more. See if you can figure it out. You'll soon find yourself noticing a lot of things that you never used to about people. I find it fascinating, perhaps you will too.  

Answer 2

Gee, what an interesting question.  The French have a great term for what you are talking about, "Je ne sais qua" as in the phrase, "She has a certain je ne sais qua."  Literally it means "I don't know what," but it characterizes the kind of difference you are asking about.

Now, that's not very helpful but let's see if we can improve on it a bit.  It is difficult to take on the outward appearance of something that one has not been raised to.  Thus, if one is "to the manor born," the operative concept is that one has been raised, all their life, to behave in a particular way.  They belong is the clothes they wear, they belong in the restaurants they visit, and so on.  

Snobs like to talk about "breeding," but there is a degree of truth to that if we remove the snobbery.  If you are brought up to behave and think in certain ways, those ways and manners fit like a glove; and that is why people from your neighbourhood, who have not been brought up that way, would look and, more importantly, feel out of place.

Answer 3

Obviously you were a stranger in a strange land. Something like Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock being beamed down to a society that was alternate/parallel to Earth's.

If you want to continue your studies of this odd culture, you might want to read the novels of

J. P. Marquand

John O'Hara

Louis Auchincloss

"The rich are different from you and me." -- F. Scott Fitzgerald. "Yes, they have more money." -- Ernest Hemingway

Though superficially novels, their books are actually careful sociological analyses of the culture you spotted.

also:

The Rich Are Different: A Priceless Treasury of Quotations and Anecdotes About the Affluent, the Posh, and the Just Plain Loaded (Hardcover)

by Jon Winokur

Answer 4

It's the environment they're raised in. If they're raise with certain things that the parents value (grammar, courtesy, etc), then you'll notice a difference in their behavior compared to how people are generally raised in another area. It's like cliques at school; people generally associate with others that have been raised with similar values because it's natural for them. If someone went from one group to another (that they're unfamiliar with), they'll notice the difference and feel a bit awkward.