I was my ex boyfriends mistress. He's married.?

Question

Long story short:

His wife knows all about me and has confronted me 4x over the past 12 years about us being intimate on-and-off the whole time. The last time he and I were intimate, he mentioned how he wishes I would have fought for his heart so he wouldnt have 'settled' for her. Should I give up this time and let him be unhappily married? Or is he secretly hoping that I will fight for him and let him know how important he is to me and ask him to leave his wife?

Answer 1

What a pile of horsesh_t!

Can't you see he wants to KEEP ON HAVING BOTH of YOU?

So he starts this drama, and you, in second place (where you will always be) fall for it every time.

Why would you want to be any man's s***n receptacle?

That's all you are to him.

Why don't you cut loose from this selfish & greedy moron and find a man of your own?

After 12 years of servicing this guy, don't you think you deserve your own guy?

C'mon! Grow a spine!

Answer 2

The guy is a player and craves attention. Leave him alone and find a single guy. If this guy seriously loved you he would be divorced by now.

Answer 3

I would start with ... ARE YOU CRAZY????.. But I am not going to say that..lol... The first thing you need to "do the math".. What I mean is this... If after 12 years of a on and off thing and he has not pick you... why in h**l would you want him? If he did pick you.... look at what he did to the last wife.......I am not going to talk about love here because you are the only one that is in love... The only person he loves is "himself". He said he wishes you would have fought for his heart... I say you need to kick him in the ***, and show him the front door. He is not worth the love of 2 Lady's and you both need to tell him that. If I was the wife, I would divorce him and send him to you and let him become your problem. You need to kick him out. I know you are a good person... I know you would stand by your man.. after 12.. yea I would say so.. But he is NOT YOUR MAN.. He is hers. Let him go..

Answer 4

12 years a mistress to the same man? Your guy is pulling your leg honey! Wake up and see what is going on. He will never leave his wife for you, why should he? To think he wants to make sure you love him and would fight for his love, OMG!  After 12 years? Not only that, his wife can sue you for 'stealing' her husband's affection. She can't be too smart herself putting up with this and staying with him. You need to break away from him and get on with your life. Either that or you will grow old alone.

Answer 5

Dump his sorry butt. He doesn't need you to fight for him or ask him to leave his wife. Even if you do, nothing will change. If he really wanted to, he would do it whether you brought it up or not. And suppose he does leave her. Do you know where you'll be in 5 years? You'll be exactly where his wife is right now. If he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you.

Answer 6

I think you should leave him alone and let him do what he is going to do with his marriage. If he wants you he will come to you and if not, he will stay with her. It is not your place to wreck his marriage

Answer 7

This seems like a decision that HE has to make! You can't break up the marriage because you are not a part of it. If he is unhappy with his wife, and does not wish to be married then he needs to divorce her!!! You should be honest with him about what you want. Good luck  

Answer 8

He sounds like a major p***y. He has no balls to live his own best life. He is hoping for you to convince him to leave. WTF? If he wants to leave he will. I'd say move on to a guy that has more respect for you.  

Answer 9

Why does he need YOU to tell him to leave?  Go ahead & tell him to leave then.  He still won't.  All you know is what he tells you.  You've been the chick to bang on the side for 12 YEARS & you really think that you're THE ONE?  Please.