I was sponsoring a child and he died the other day b*****d OF A HUSBAND DIDNT CARE BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK!?

Question

I joined one of thoes sponsoring thingys and i got some pictures and letters from the child i was sponsoring. I got a letter the other day and they told me he had died from HIV/AIDS. I was upset and told my partner and i showed him the picture and all he said was "hes black?" i went mad. he didnt give a dam because the little boy was black. I dont even know what to say to him im so angry. what should i do? we have a 3 year old child ourself and i couldnt imagine anyone not caring about them just because they were white!

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that.  Just know that your help probably meant a lot to him and his family in making feel more comfortable in his last days.  As for your husband, well, it sucks that this is his reaction to something that is very traumatic to you, but I have to wonder if it's really a surprise.  Usually people exhibit signs of this sort of insensitive behavior throughout their lives.  Talk to your friends and family members and get support from them.  Later, when you're calm, tell him how you feel about the fact that he behaved this way.  Even if he has such horrible feelings, he should have comforted you as your husband.

EDIT: I think you should walk out right now.  Go take a walk.  Go to a friend's house.  You don't need to be around that negativity right now.  Like I said, come back when you can speak to him calmly.  Yelling won't get your point across.  He needs to know that you are hurt and why.

Answer 2

that was pretty inconsiderate of him. if you are this upset then make sure he knows it. if it takes staying at his mums all day then do so. if that was my man i'd be so angry he'd be out for the day, not me. i've kicked my man out of his flat once because he was being a complete moron and he got the message and didn't argue.

it sounds like you are also upset the boy died. i think you'll need some time to mourn. i know you didn't know him well since you hadn't met him but still. it's important to mourn. it might feel a little easier knowing he at least had clean water, people caring for him and a nice warm bed. some children don't even have that so you gave him loads.

Answer 3

I can't believe you didn't realise before that he's racist.  I mean, after all, you're married and you have a child together, so you must have known him for quite a while - so he's made no little comments, no backhanded insults - nothing?  In all that time??

Answer 4

are you sure it wasn't just that his color took him by surprise. honestly i have known people that are like yeah its sad when a child dies but it happens every day so why should i cry over one i don't know when there are a million more just like them i don't know also. i know it seemed like he ws being a sorry jerk, maybe he just thinks like these people.

Answer 5

I'd be plenty disgusted to find out my partner was a racist, too.  I hope he doesn't raise your child to be like him.    

Answer 6

Get over yourself you want to take your kid to grandmas cause of this c**p give the guy a break you took vows to honor and respect him now your on here bashing him to strangers thats wack!

Answer 7

i honestly think that was awsome for you to sponsor that sweet baby,and you probably had some love for him. you obviously love your husband and know him well or you would'nt have married him. i think maybe he never wanted to get involved in the first place because it would hurt and since he had the ability to block that pain out of his life he did. and he had no remorse because of that.

yes totall ****** remark{sorry} and i hope you work things out and come to an understanding.