Question:

I was watching the Antwone fisher story.... How common is this in foster care?

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Was his story just an extreme case?

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  1. It does NOT happen to every child but I have heard of many cases before.  Thus the reason in getting my foster care license.  I want to be one of the families that help these kids get away from the abuse and neglect not give them more!


  2. I also am a Foster parent and you Kimberly are a moron..Dont say every foster parent because there are a lot of good ones out there!!! Do you even know what we get paid,,dont make me laugh..I spend more in a day then I receive in a week!! Also you dont have to be rich to be one so thats a cop out..You need patience, love and understanding!!!

  3. I am sure it happens, more than we realize. But I do agree with, tickled blue, there are some wonderful foster parents out there. There is also a great need, for more foster parents that have a passion for children and not for the check they get monthly.

  4. Thumbs up Tickled - I am a foster parent and the money we recieve doesn't begin to cover the cost of raising our son.  We have also opted to not recieve the stipend check once the adoption is final.  We will however keep the insurance as it will take many many years to undo what his parents did to him - he basically has to be re-wired as his therapist tell us!

  5. Which part of it? The abuse? It is not common in US foster care, but it does happen. Department of Research at the New York University School of Social Work, determined that over 28 per cent of the children in state care had been abused while in the system. That is a sad statistic, but with more screening and background information--along with regular visits and social workers listening to the children in their care--this would be a smaller figure.

    EDIT: Kimberly: SOME people foster for money...though that is a stupid reason to foster....the money given to foster families does not in any way cover the costs for taking care of that child. There are many great foster families. Please keep that in mind and don't generalize. Thanks!

    <<foster-to-adoptive mommy.

  6. A guy that I worked with grew up in foster care, and he said some really awful things happened to him. He was molested by both foster parents, beaten on a regular basis, and served as a slave to them for years. Horrific that was allowed to happen. Worse happens to girls I'm sure. People only do it for the money, they could care less about the children, and the states are so overwhelmed, they can't monitor every child. That's why it happens so so many children. My heart goes out to each and every child in foster care, it really does. I wish I was rich enough to help a few out.

  7. I was a foster kid and YES it does happen.  There are some excellent foster parents, but there are also alot of bad ones.  

    Unfortunately, when kids already have been abused, they are more likely to wind up in a foster placement where abuse or neglect will continue.

    Why?  Because the "damaged" children are hard to place.  People are afraid to deal with them because their needs are so great.  So, they look for anyone. Additionally, these children can be trying and foster parents may justify hurting them because they have "difficult" behaviors.

    Now, things have changed since the 1990s and foster care reform has tried to prevent cases like Antwone Fisher from occurring.  But it still happens and I would be willing to bet that their are less "good foster parents"  and more "bad ones."

    But, I can tell you some of my personal experiences leaving out the worst.

    I had one family that locked the refrigerator and would not let me eat, other than main meals.  Because I hid food in my closet and under my bed mattress when I first got there, they locked the frig as a punishment.  Mind you I came from my original home where there was no food and I was a skinny kid.  I tried to sneak some food and would get whipped.

    I had one family that would make me sleep on the porch whenever I misbehaved.  Sometimes it was freezing out.

    One foster dad would hit me with his shoe.  If you don't think that hurts, try it.

    I used to wet my bed.  Everytime I did it, I was locked in the bathroom.  Sometimes for hours, sometimes for the whole day.

    I think anyone that has been in long-term foster placement has some bad experiences.  Plus, the more foster homes you are in, the more likely you are to get some bad ones.

    The system is messed up.  We spend more money per day on animals in shelters than we do on foster children.  

    Sad.

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