I was wondering, is it okay to adopt a child older than the biological child. ?

Question

I'm not a mom yet but my friend is just curious and i just want to help her out a little more since her mom is going to adopt and wants to learn more about the topic. So is it okay? Let's say if your adopted child is 3 y/o and the biological child is 2 y/o. Will that be okay?

Answer 1

There are theories out there about adopting out of birth order.  Some think it is inherently harmful, others do not.  I think it depends on the children and the family involved.

However, there is another problem with the scenario that you proposed.  In this case, I think the age difference is way too close.  Some people want to adopt a child close to the age of their biological child, so that they can have a friend/playmate.  This almost never works out.  

Answer 2

in most adoption cases where there is a birth child in the home the person decideing if you get to adopt a child will tell you it is always best to adopt a child younger than you birth child

Answer 3

In most cases if adopting through the county they won't recommend that. I know when i went through the adoption classes for foster-to-adopt they told us that we should never adopt a child older than the one we already have in the home because the first born should remain the first born.  Now I know sometimes things happen and the rule of that can change but in most cases they said it can cause problems because an only child would be going from only child to the little one which isn't always good, when you bring a new child into the family they do better being the big sister/brother.  WIth a 2 and 3 year old though not sure how that would work out, really would depend on how the 2 year old might handle suddenly having a big sibling in the house.  

Answer 4

Absolutely. Most people adopt younger kids because they want to raise them from the beginning but if you have your heart set on adopting a older child, even if you already have one, then you should. All foster children need love and the sooner the better.

Answer 5

Of course i don't see why not. But then again it could all depend some children who are adopted (especially older) have more difficulty adjusting then say a younger child soo there maybe a lil extra effort on the parents end to maintain and even scale there. Other then that i think its great to adopt!

Answer 6

The problem is birth order.  Birth order is often very important for a child in determining how they fit into a family.  It's often hard for an only child to deal with a new baby in the house.  Dealing with introducing a new child who is older, and thus displaces him or her as the oldest child in the house, adds even more complications.  It makes an already difficult situation (adoption and the addition of a new child) even more challenging.  It is best avoided.