I went behind my best friend's back and they found out. How can I regain their trust?

Question

My best guy friend forbid me to see this other guy that was in town. The other guy has hurt me repeatedly and my friend was only protecting me. I told my friend I was going to church, which I did, but when I heard the other guy was at the mall, I rushed over there to see him. I had to make sure I didn't have feelings for him anymore and good news is, I don't. But, my best friend found out because he checked my church and then my house and I wasn't at either of those places. I tried to lie my way out, but I broke down and told him that I was driving home from the mall. My friend hung up on me and texted me saying that he's lost all trust with me. We talked that night after I acted all pathetic to get him to talk to me. He said that most of the trust was gone, and it could all be returned in time.

How do I make sure that they'll trust me again? Will there be a scar? Is our close friendship ruined? I feel like such a s***w up..

Answer 1

I know that when people care about you and you do the things that you know would disturb them, then of course it would cause friction.  OK you lied!  But I can see getting mad at you because you kissed the guy, but you wanted closure from the situation.  I think personally you needed that.  But ask yourself this.... Do you think perhaps your male friend might like you MORE than a friend?  I think you need to explain to your friend with all HONESTY, that you wanted closure from the situation.  You are only human after all.  We make mistakes!  In time though, if he really cares about you, he'll forgive you.  You are religious, if god forgive us, then why can't man?  

Answer 2

Realize how your friend feels. It's always easier writing to someone then face to face. Write an email or note saying that you were wrong and that you didn't mean to hurt their feelings. Make sure your friend knows you don't want to lose their friendship. Give them space. Don't constantly call them, write to them or keep apologizing to them. They already know you're sorry. They just needs time to think about it. If you see them and they bring up the fight, then apologize again. Otherwise, let it be. Don't involve anyone else. Even if you want to tell someone about this fight, especially don't tell your friends. This will cause drama! Don't go out and tell everyone, keep it between you two. Do things to earn back trust. Do small things that might mean a lot. Maybe organizing their locker, helping her clean her room, or something small but unexpected. Stay out of their business for awhile. Don't be nosy, just live your own life and not theirs. Even if you want to know something, let them be the one to willing tell you. When they tell you, they trust you again.

Hope I helped :)

Answer 3

you lied so it'll be harder to get it back i doubt you ost his trust my best friend is a girl and she did that to me i said the exact same thing i just was really mad that she lied so just keep trying to get his trust back