I wish I could have breastfed my baby for longer?

Question

I had such a hard time breastfeeding my baby. I had a Csection and then I didn't have an appetite at all so I wasn't making enough milk for her and she would scream from being hungry so I had to supplement with formula. This made my milk supply even less so I was having a hard time with feeding her breast milk. I tried pumping it and putting it in a bottle but I was getting next to nothing after 15 min on each side. Plus, I have cysts in one of my b*****s and pumping that one was like torture. She also has a very poor shallow latch and it was masacring my nipples. I could not get her to latch right no matter how hard I tried. Now, she's 1 month and I am letting what's left of my milk dry up and just ff her. I feel so guilty because I really gave it my all and cried over this so much! I want feeding her to be positive for both of us, not so crazy and frustrating. I have some intense emotions about this. Have any of you other moms had the same experience? Will formula feeding her make her really unhealthy and not smart? I feel selfish.

Answer 1

I understand. I am one of a few women who can't produce breast milk at all. I have one son, and a set of twins. I wasn't able to breast feed them at all.

Answer 2

You are not selfish - - you gave it your all and that is all that should ever be expected.  An upset mother and upset baby is not beneficial to your daughter's health.  Feeding should be a positive experience whether it be from the breast or a bottle.

If you are really upset over this, why not seek the support of a lactation consultant (your local hospital can make a referral for you or the WIC office usually has a few on staff).  Try to pump for just a few more days until you can contact someone and see what they recommend.  That way, you will absolutely know you did everything in your power and be confident in your decision for your baby.  

Either way, have confidence in your ability to make the best decision for your child.  Don't listen to those that will try to make you feel guilty, but rather find peace with the facts that you did your best which is all parenting really is.

Answer 3

I had to stop nursing my 1st born at 3 weeks.  I felt very guilty even though I had to stop for health reasons.  My baby is 10 now and he is gifted.   You have given your baby the best start, so don't be  hard on yourself.  She will be fine and so will you.  I wish you both all the best-

Answer 4

Formula will not make her unhealthy and not smart. Do not let the media/doctors/etc scare you. Don't get worked up about this. Just feed your baby what you can, love her unconditionally, make sure she is warm, happy...that's what is really important. You are not selfish...you tried. You didn't just dismiss the idea of breastfeeding. You are going to be a wonderful mother. Cherish every minute you have with your daughter. Do not waste your time worrying about breastfeeding...take that time and read her books. Have her listen to classical music. Enrich her mind in other ways. Good luck!  

Answer 5

consider yourself lucky.  i tried to get my baby to take a bottle and she has always refused, despite being desprate for food.   i do not produce hardly anything and i am forced to breastfeed.  i would not choose to breast feed again.  dont feel bad, your baby is getting what she neeeds.

Answer 6

This is always going to be a very touchy subject, and you have clearly tried so hard to persurvere with breast feeding.

I would talk to a Lactation Consultant about it all, not only will you get some of the guilt off your chest, but there are other options, you can let you nipples heal then put her back to the breast if you want to, because it takes a long time for your milk to 'dry up'

But this is just an option, if you truly feel you are done with breastfeeding your baby, you need to except your choice and not feel guilty, you need to be happy that you have a beautiful baby who you created and are now feeding loving and nurturing.

I would also research the pros and cons before making the choice though.

I have 2 sisters, one formular fed all her kids, from birth, they suffer lots of gastro and vomiting bugs, have asthma, eczema, and my other sister breast fed hers for 6 months exclusivly, and her kids are a lot healthier, because they got the colostrum which is imperative, for the babies immunity and gut.

You have tried, I can see this, but you should definately talk to a professional lactation consultant before fully giving up.

Good luck

Answer 7

Please please please dont listen to some of those breastfeeding n***s out there that make you think formula is like rat poison. It is NOT unhealthy, and it will NOT make her 'unsmart". You are not selfish bc you tried as much as you could. You gave ehr the first drops of colostrum and thats what is most important bc they have the most immunity in them. my best friend switched to formula around your daughter's age and shes 7 months now and doing just fine. very smart too for a 7 month old. my dad came from the 1950s when breastfeeding was considered taboo and he turned out fine too on a strict diet of formula only as a baby. please dont feel guilty for something you cant really help.

Answer 8

Would you rather have feeding times torture or feeding times pleasure? Why stress so much about breastfeeding when it makes the rest of your time with your little one bad?

It sounds like you really tried. Don't beat yourself up.

Maybe next time if you really want to breastfeed contact someone for help before moving to formula. But even then formula doesn't make your child less smart or less loved.

Answer 9

If you get a chance to, you should talk to an IBCLC. If not, that's fine.. your baby will still be okay on formula! Apparently it's normal to feel guilty if you stop breastfeeding.. I was on too much medication to BF mine, but he's a healthy, thriving 5 month old :-)

Answer 10

You tried and put forth a good effort. If this is the worst thing you ever do to your kid, she is very lucky. Do not feel guilty. 30 or 50 years ago no one but people that had to breast fed their kids. Relax, give her formula and enjoy her.

Answer 11

You had a very similar experience to what i had. I tried to nurse both kids and found out that i have low milk supply. You have to give yourself credit for what you did give her.

BF should be a great experience and it sounds as if you were upset. i was the same way. my DD is now ff and i am less stressed. I do feel sad that i didn't (couldn't) nurse, but you have to remember, in 6 months is it going to matter if you nursed or ff? in 5 years?

It doesn't make you a better mother to nurse. you can still bond and have snuggle time. My favorite time now is when my daughter gets up to eat in the morning and we fall back asleep together with her in my arms. I look down and just fall in love with her.

My oldest daughter was formula fed (full time at 5 months) and (not to brag) but has a more advanced vocabulary than other children her age. She could speak full sentences at 17 months.

you have every right to be upset. But instead of focusing on not nursing, make every moment special.

I'm sure you are a great mom, and nursing does not determine that !!!

Best of luck and congrats on your little one!!!