I wish had a different mom =[?

Question

My mom is so callous and she doesn't know how to show true feelings because she wants to look tough all the time. Everyday she has this attitude with me for no reason, and everytime we go somewhere together she always finds some reason to yell or embarrass me and make me look like I don't know what I'm doing. It gets so old.

I love my mom and I know deep down inside she loves me too, but she NEVER shows it. It's almost like a one sided relationship because she expects ME to be the one telling her "I love you" everyday, when I really wish that's what she would do.

I wish she was the type of mom that was easy to talk to and nicer, and showed her feelings more instead of trying to act all cold. It makes me sad because that's the type of mom that I need being in the type of family that I'm in, but I don't. =[

Answer 1

WOW...my heart hurts for you.  I wish I could hug you and let you know that you are special and worth loving.

Sometimes mom's have a very difficult life and they are afraid to let their feelings show for fear of falling apart.  I don't know what kind of family you have and what kind of life she has had...but it is a shame you are the adult when you need to be the kid.  Sometimes we have to grow up more quickly than we should and we have to be more understanding that we know how to be.

I know this leaves a hole in your heart and it might cause you some self esteem issues.  My parents didn't want me and It has been a lifetime struggle to balance out the emotional and the rational part of my emotions.  You feel no one could love you if you mother didn't...but you know that isn't rational as it is her problem and not yours.  But then it becomes YOUR problem as it is something that can't resolve itself without your mothers holding you and letting you know how special you are and how much you are loved.

Honey..I am big on talking face to face with people.  I think that is the best thing for MOST cases.  In yours it is difficult.  have you tried to write a letter to your mom?   Sometimes you can explain things more if you write them out and think them out.  You can tell her you are growing up and need her right now.  This is a difficult time in your life and you need a mom that can let you know you are doing ok and that you are what she expects out of her children.  You can tell her you need a hug now then to know you are doing ok...because right now you aren't sure where you stand in her eyes and this is important to you.

Just tell her what you need.  Leave it where she can find it or give it to her and ask her to read it and then maybe you can talk.

Maybe she doesn't realize what you need ...and maybe she feels like a failure too.  All you can do is try to talk to her face to face or in a letter and you obviously can't talk to her face to face as she gets excited.

I wish I could talk to her for you....you need to be strong honey...and know that you are worthy of love !  I get from your letter that you do well in school and you seem to be a very polite and nice person.  You are someone  to be proud of.  :)))

You might tell her you notice she is stressed a lot and ask if you can do something to help her.  She might see you are growing up just as she hoped you would.

Answer 2

I wish I had a different mom too, My mom is also cold hearted, self centered ,  selfish, and  judgmental

Answer 3

well, why don't you sit down and talk to her.

ask her "Mom, do you really love me"

If she's yes then ask her to show it and to express her feelings instead of being so cold and distant.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time.  You've made me think about how I treat my step-daughter, but I think our cases are waaaaay different.  You're mom does love you and I don't know what's up with the trying to be all hard thing.  By the way, you sound very mature and your spelling is quite good.  Maybe your mom is trying to make you independent a bit early.

I don't know what to say, hun.  I wish you the best.  

Answer 5

Make sure you are showing your mom love. Next time she yells at you say im sorry mom i didnt mean to and i didnt know. Do you think theres a reason she wants to be strong with you? My mom is totally oppisite. She is soooooo dumb. i feel like im the mom and i have to control her.she doesnt have a disorder or anything she is jsut that way. im mean she is book smart but omg somtimes its terrble and it hink omg what a dumb r****d she is. but somtimes its okay and is itll care for her.

Answer 6

when you're a mom, you'll understand... and you better hope SHE/HE doesn't wish what you're wishing

Answer 7

Quit your bit­ching no one wants to here you bawwww about your mom.  

Answer 8

i know this seems really hard to do but you just need to tell her how you feel! i know you have probably thought about it several times but you can even right her a letter or something like that so u dont have to talk to her face to face

Answer 9

It was like that with me when I was younger, The older I got, The more she lightened up, Now we're like best friends, Dont give her attitude back, Or maybe talk to her and tell her what you told us and how you feel? Maybe she'll change a little, You'd be surprised.

Answer 10

I know you say that you wish your mom was easier to talk to but have you tried sitting her down and explaining how you feel?  Has this been a recent event with your mom or has this been going on for a very long time?  Your mom may have something going on meaning, she may be stressed about something or maybe is grouchy because she's not getting enough sleep, etc. and she may be taking it out on you.  Kinda of like a scapegoat, you know?  I would start with sitting her down and trying to explain how you feel.  If that doesn't work, is there an Aunt or Uncle or even a close family friend that you can talk to to get advice on how to approach you mom with this situation?  Maybe they can help you in talking to your mom.  Good luck and keep your head up.

Answer 11

wow i feel the same way about my mother. but i am just thankful to have her because some people don't have mothers; i don't have a father and i try to ignore how she acts because she's all i have.

haha i had to look up callous on dictionary.com. thanks for the new word.

Answer 12

my mom is like that too. my whole family judges me and disrespects me. i hate it :[. but i just try to keep my calm during those moments, and try not to say things provoke them.

Answer 13

its called being a teenager, so shut up and deal with it like the rest of us in life

Answer 14

u should TALK TO HER; even if she wont let u or doesnt have "THE TIME" you need to TELL HER ALL THIS YOU JUST TOLD US..she will UNDERSTAND...

Answer 15

I know your pain. From a child as well as an adult. She has her own issues, believe me. That is not making excuses, but children do not come out with directions, so whether you are ready or not here they come. Try to talk to her. Try to find out what makes her this way. Maybe it was her Mom. Or her Dad. Maybe life. But I can promise she loves you even though she doesn't know how to show it. Just love her, as you are the only unconditional love that she has... You obviously care or you would not be here asking for help...

Life may not be the party we planned for but while we are her we may as well dance....

:o)

Answer 16

You're lucky you actually have a mom, some of us have lost ours.  

Answer 17

hey man that really sux seems we both have mom problems try talkin 2 herif u havent tried yet dnt make it a figt but seriouly hav a deep talk and tell her it really hurts and stuff

Answer 18

same with my step dad.

i just pass his c**p right back at him

Answer 19

Im sorry you feel like that. My mom passed away and I would give anything for her to be able to yell at me. Tell her how u feel.Maybe she doesnt realize how much her actions cause you pain. She might have been brought up the same way.So she may not even be conscious of it.

Love you mom you only get one!! There are far worse mothers out there who abuse there children...

Answer 20

I have the same problem hun my mom never seems to show me any affection or anything and i always say i love you but i never get it back. Hardly any of my family talk too so i don't have many people I'm close with anymore. But what you have got to keep thinking is she has raised u as a child to how ever many years, deep down she loves you and she has probably done alot for you in the past that you don't even know about.