I wish to create a black hole in the basement of Rotter manor ?

Question

I think it would be ideal for throwing incriminating evidence into as well a deterrent for the servants. I know its a bit of a risk creating a vortex that could open up a split in the space time continuum, but by Jove the evidence is piling up here! and needs must. What would be the best way to create a black hole?

Answer 1

Have you gotten any info from the the good folks at CERN ?

They're fiddling with something similar.

http://www.exploratorium.edu/origins/cer...

Answer 2

I do see your problem old boy but any black hole that is going to fit in the basement of a manor alongside the Beaujolais and Madeira  will have to be rather small.  

It's a sad fact that the life of a black hole is proportional to the cube of it's mass, and a small one might not last long enough to be much use to you.  

Might I suggest a large bathtub filled with nitric acid?  Much more compact and probably cheaper.  

Answer 3

11:11 WISH TIME!!!

Answer 4

just buy a hole from your local friendly wholesaler, place in desired location and paint it black.  

Answer 5

In my country they call a feminist "The Black Hole."  Couldn't you just throw a bunch down there?  The only problem is they smell bad enough going down, can't imagine the odor after a couple weeks...

Answer 6

I'm with De Cat on this, you need plenty of gravity and as Newton discovered it when watching an apple fall, I can only suggest getting a very large pile of apples and watch them, (well get your servants to do this) if they toss them into the air and let them drop, very soon you will have a great pile of gravity. Now it is also known that to obtain a black hole that is conducive with gravity,you will require  a space time continuum. This is obtained by time travel, for that you will require a flux capacitor and 19.5 jigger watts of power that can only be obtained from a lightening strike. Mix them all together and you have the black hole, if you succeed could you throw Cuthbertson in as I am fed up with the old goat. You can get the apples from my orchard in Normandy and the rest of the stuff from ebay or Harrods.

Answer 7

The best way is to find the right star and let it die out after a few billion years.

Answer 8

  If you create one the earth will vanish.

Answer 9

Oh dear why not just use the portal you opened in the kitchen? Perhaps with all your vast amounts of indiscretions you could fill the hole, put back the fridge, lock in Lucifer, AND look innocent all in one simple motion? Make sure you stuff the servants that handle said evidence into the hole as well. Then you won't have any evidence to worry about! Have another gin for me!

Answer 10

I say, Rotter! Would it not be safer for all concerned to simply dispose of your "inconvenient truths", so to speak, in more traditional fashion? Say, the fire-place, or brush chipper if need be? You run the risk of destroying the whole world, old boy! I know you're a Rotter, but really, old fellow, one must bow to convention at some times, eh what?

Answer 11

Wait for dear old Mrs Humpfrey to expire. Lay her corpse to rest in the cellar. As the the toxic gases build up ignite them. killing 2 birds with one stone. Good bye old hag hello man made vortex.

Answer 12

Might I suggest you invite John Prescott round and fool him into going into the basement by telling him that you have received a truckload of pies. Then lock him in for a week.  After a while he should eat his way through the space time continuum thus creating a black hole. Ironically he should also be sucked into the void he creates, thus destroying the evidence of this very plan.  Ingenious and convenient. Toodle pip.

Answer 13

You should ask the researchers at CERN is you can borrow one of the black holes that they make in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).  They're testing the device right now, and it should start producing black holes on September 10, 2008.

Answer 14

I dont know

Answer 15

The best way to create a black hole would be to acquire a large quantity of gravity.

As Sir Isaac Newton found out through bitter experience, apples are the key here.  You will need to steal every singe apple on the planet Earth and store them in your basement.  

In order to make storage easier, the apples should be fermented and converted to cider.  On drinking this, you will certainly feel as if there is a black hole inside your head.

To complete this task, make sure you beat the servants, yelling numbers in the process.

Answer 16

You'll probably have to talk to Rassilon.  I left my Handbook of Gallifreyan Technology at home today.

Answer 17

You will need to reroute the Large Hadron Collider which goes into operation later this year. It is theorized that it will create miniature black holes. Get one of these in a basement and just add mass to your preference for size.