I wonder what's wrong with me?

Question

I'm afraid of commitment beyond normal measure. I only want a pay as you go phone, I only get month to month lease, when i get a friend and they start calling pretty often, I abruptly stop taking and returning their calls to create some distance.

I'm incredibly nervous at parties ( I didn't use to be). I don't call people at all actually ( even my family which is breaking their hearts)...

Yet, I've had the same boyfriend for the last 4 years. When we started dating, I had friends, I was outgoing and full of life. Now, he's the only friend I have and the only one I talk to.

There has not been any significant incident in my life to explain the gradual withdrawal and hopelessness that I feel...

I guess I should seek help uh?

Answer 1

withdrawal =hopelessness+dependency on one person can equal

depression. Who's choice was it to give up the friends and calls? You

say nothing has happened but you started changing after you started

this relationship. Relationships are supposed to add to your life not

become your life totally. You need life out side your relationship to

survive. Your boyfriend cannot be your oxygen. We can slowly drift into

depression and it hurts us and the people around us who don't understand. Talk to a professional so he or she can pinpoint where

these feelings are coming from. Could be clinical depression or

environmental stresses or both. Don't give up . Get help.

Answer 2

you're afraid of commitment.

look at life differently. if you commit, good things will happen. not just bad things.

or you may have some anxiety disorder or aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism.

Answer 3

The one statement that stood out for me in your question is: "when we started dating, I had friends, I was outgoing and full of life. Now, he's the only friend I have and the only one I talk to".

This kind of statement always sets off warning bells to me. I'm wondering if your boyfriend has anything to do with the "gradual" withdrawal of your normal self and who you used to be. Some males have the ability to make a female feel that he is the only person who she needs. They slowly and steadily manipulate your thinking until you become completely emotionally dependent on them only. I've researched this issue and found little information as to why they do this. My wild guess is that they might have an inferiority complex and controlling someone very close to them makes them feel superior and feel better about themselves. If you want to talk to someone, I would choose your doctor first. Explain to him/her exactly what you said here in your question. He/she is a great resource and anything you tell the doctor remains confidential. Your doctor also can refer you to a counsellor or therapist if you really need one. Hope this helped. Best to you.  

Answer 4

It does sound like Social Anxiety, and (GAD) generalized anxiety disorder. I'm not an expert...but...I understand the commitment thing. Sounds like you're starting to or have already isolating yourself. I had social anxiety too before I went agoraphobic. Years ago I got like this and it turned into Agoraphobia at one point, not sure if you know what that is, but, I didn't want to leave the house at all, it made me sick to walk out the door, talk to people, answer the phone, visit with people. I'm not trying to scare you, just giving you insight. You should seek help before you get worse. You never know what "incident" can trigger an episode like this. It really doesn't have to be anything extreme. Sometimes it's something you might not even remember. I don't know. Just a theory.  

Answer 5

Yes, you should seek out a counselor for talk therapy, you want to find out when this started and what may be the trigger.

Make sure you go alone, this is your time to talk to the counselor freely. Don't hold anything back. Make sure you discuss how you are treated in your relationship especially.

It is not normal to isolate yourself, you must get help now. Take care.

Answer 6

you may be suffering from social anxiety if it continues you may need to go see someone there is meds for that. But dont wait to long for it may get worse.