I work full time and go to college full time. I am a single mother raising 4 kids but my income is?

Question

just over the limit to qualify for any assistance such as daycare and medical assitance. I am poor and struggling and trying my best to make it. My friends that do not work are living better than me. They get free rent, insurance, and food. They even get gas money to look for a job. If I were to take a lower paying job or just not work I would be living better than I am now. What is the point of working so hard? I have been at my job 13 years and now have to take a part time job so I can pay my bills. I do not live extravagant but very simple and still struggle. Should I just quit my job and reep the benefits of welfare? I work hard for everything I have but I dont know how much more I can do. I make under 40k a year. Why doesnt the state help those like myself that are trying rather than those that simply dont want to work.

Answer 1

Although their is help available for some people in the welfare system, you are better than that. You are working, going to school full time, and trying to raise 4 kids by yourself. You've accomplished a lot.

When your education is finshed, it will open other doors for you, to raise your standard of living.

BTW, where is the father(s) of your children? He/they should be providing support for the kids. If he/they fail to do that, he/they need their behinds thrown in jail. Just $50 per week per child would increase your houshold income by $10,400 per year.

Here is where the state can help you. Take the father(s) to court, if they are not making child support payments. If he/they are not employed, that's no excuse. Jobs can be found if looked for.

If the father(s) is/are disabled or deceased, you and your children can draw on his/their social security, if qualified.

Don't quit your job. It sound like you have a good work ethic, so keep it, and teach your children to do the same.

Picture this:

There was a cartoon drawing of a pelican. There was a frog in the pelican's beak, and the pelican was trying to swallow the frog. The frog had it's "arms" outside the beak with it's "hands" around the pelican's neck.

The moral of the cartoon?

NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Answer 2

The point of working hard, is to instill a good work ethic in your kids.  To teach them to be responsible, and self sufficient.  

No, you shouldn't quit your job.  Your example, is teaching your kids how they should behave as adults.  Are they going to work through adversity, or be quitters and live off welfare all their lives?  Are they going to step up to the plate, and dig in and get the job done?  Or go sit on the couch and never amount to anything?

The state helps plenty of people - many of whom, frankly, are committing fraud.  That doesn't make them good, it doesn't make them honest, and it doesn't solve any problems.

The median household income in the USA is $42,000.  So you're just slightly under the median household income.  

Hang in there.  Things will get better. And then your kids will know what a great model of strength and achievement you've been for them.

Answer 3

Hi,

Well, ideally you'd be able to find something you can do that will fill in those financial gaps, WITHOUT increasing your current work hours.  Or you may discover a low-interest, deferred loan program you didn't know about through the school.

But...and I may get yelled at for this, especially by the "gut-it-out" older folks who really knew how to work 24/7 to make it past those hard first years....but welfare - if you'd qualify, make SURE you would before you make any changes - may be a temporary option.  Here's why I think this:

1.  I presume your money isn't going to drugs, fancy clothes, booze or nights out on the town.  So you wouldn't be a bum taking advantage of the system to continue being a bum.

2.  I presume you've already carefully analyzed your current expenditures, possibly with help from an expert, to make sure you have not defined some things as "necessary" that are really  optional.  That's a really common mistake to make:  but one of the surest signs that your expenses may be out of line, since 40K really isn't that much for a four-child family, would be if you're running up your credit card(s) and not paying it off each month.  If your expenses, even after budget counseling (sometimes  offered free at colleges) are really minimal, then you'd know you really have exhausted every other financial option.

3.  I've done the work-full-time and college-full-time thing, but WITHOUT the four kids, and what you're trying to do  - that is, do it all - may actually cause more problems in the long-term if you don't make some changes.

a.  First, how much time are you able to give your kids?  I have no doubt that's a constant worry and source of pain for you, and it won't get better if you take on extra work.  They are your first priority, and you have to protect, not undermine, your ability to be there for them.

b.  Second, do you find yourself constantly walking around in a fog from sleep-deprivation?  If so, not only would you be AMAZED at the difference in handling your classes when you're better rested, but you'd be safeguarding your immune system which you're now damaging, improving your ability to be patient with your kids, and significantly lowering your risk of getting in an accident and leaving your kids without you.

4.  As difficult as it would be to face the scorn of those who might give you a hard time for being on welfare, consider this:  your current chances of finishing college are pretty small.  If you're running out of money, SOMETHING is going to have to give:  either your last few moments of spare time that your kids desperately need from you, or college.  I'm betting you'll (wisely) choose your kids.  Not to mention, you'll soon realize, even if you try adding work hours, that you're driving yourself into the ground.

WHEREAS, if you take an avenue that makes it a little easier for you, instead of significantly harder...like (hopefully) making BIG bucks at an alternate job or, if necessary, opting out and going on welfare.....you will eventually more than pay back the system for the welfare money you took.  And, in fact, in ways you probably haven't thought of:  like you'll have time to help your kids with their homework, and make it more likely THEY'LL be able to get good jobs and pay into the system, too!

If you do decide to go the welfare route, ask LOTS of questions first.  Find out if there's a lag time between quitting a job and receiving welfare payments.  I also don't know whether you'll qualify for unemployment benefits if you quit as opposed to being fired (I suppose you could do something REALLY outrageous to get fired, but try not to get arrested in the process!  LOL)  FInd out if they requre you to have a part-time job, or to provide proof of continually applying for jobs, and how the welfare-to-work system (if one exists in your state) might work for or against you.  And make sure your assets - like owning a home, or having a retirement account (are you ROFL?), or something like that, might disqualify you.

The answerer who suggested that your kids will learn from your decisions, and would learn about hard work and determination from your decision not to cave in and go on welfare, has an excellent point.  

However, they also mentioned "being on welfare for life."  As discussed above, you would be using the system on a temporary basis.  Hopefully your kids would see that you're still working your butt off...but now you're putting your energy into them as your first priority, that you made embarrassing, unpopular choices in order to safeguard your relationship with them and still build a successful future.  They would see you burning the midnight oil, perhaps even with extra units of classes to get out of this situation faster....but again, they would know that they are first in their hard-working parent's life.  And that's something they need to see and learn, too, that a child is not last in line, but first, in their parent's priorities.

One more caveat about welfare.  I've never been on it myself, but have had a couple friends who had severe health problems and had to go on welfare.  And Rodney Dangerfield rules in the welfare system:  the welfare people will show you no respect, and will butt their noses into your private life - because, after all, they're paying your bills.  Just be prepared for that, if you choose that route.

Best of luck to you.  I hope something I said helps you think through your options.  Take care...