I work in a daycare ?

Question

I work in a private daycare nursery in the baby room which starts from 3 months to 18 months. I have looked after one baby since she was 7 months old and we have really bonded. Now she is 18 months she is moving up to the next room. She doesn't cope well with strangers or people she doesn't know very well and will get herself really upset and i am the only one at work who can calm her down. I am finding it hard that she is moving up and though she hasn't settled yet with her new key worker am sad that we are going to lose the bond we've had for a year.I think it will be hard hearing her cry knowing i can calm her down. Even her parents are really nice and I'm even going to miss talking to them.

I know it sounds silly but i just is there anyway i can stop myself from feeling like this and to make the transition easier for her

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Answer 1

There should be a transition period for the child. She should have short visits that gradually become longer in length. You should stay out of the room so she can form a bond with the teacher in the new room. It's really hard to let go once you become attached to a child, but, they need to grow and learn to trust other adults. Once she is fully adjusted, go into the room and say hi.  

Answer 2

Is it possible the director will allow you to move up with her? This is actually a well-researched strategy.

Answer 3

Good idea,

I used to cry at graduation time...

you will see them from time to time and they will remember your kindness to their child

Answer 4

Are you sure?  Ah - I see where the question mark should go - the last sentence.  How can you stop feeling like that and make the transition easier for her?

If you get clingy, she will pick it up, so deal with your feelings on your own time - I mean, really do.  You have been with the child through a very special time in her life.  You've given her a lot and received a lot, and now that she is older, while she might not choose a change, she will be better prepared for it for the time you have spent with her.

Ah - but - knowing that you can calm her when another cannot - that is not good for a child, to be kept quiet at all costs.  A child needs to know where the boundaries are, where it is all right for them to make decisions, and where it is they need to concede to others.  For her not to learn that this early would only create difficulties for her.  Now - do you really want that?

Be happy and "up" with her as you both head into this transition period.  Make it as easy for her as you can.

Answer 5

I know how you feel, the daycare I work for will only have a baby for maybe 3 months in a class and then they will move.  I hate that, then I have to find another child to bond with.  You will just have to move on, the baby will eventually get used to her new teacher.  I had babies that left my room and cried for days and I had some that didn't cry at all.  I know it's hard even though the baby is only feet away in another room.  

Answer 6

Tha't great that you made such a connection with her.  It teaches her a lot about relationships and friendships at a young age.  Maybe you should avoid contact with her for awhile.  Maybe when you do see her just give her a hug or talk to her a little bit.  Another idea; maybe you should before she moves to the next room, explain to her that she is going to a brand new room full of fun toys and nice kids and daycare people and that you love her and will see her soon.  It might calm her donw a little.  It's a tough question because you care a lot about her and want what's best for her.  

Answer 7

You might have to avoid contact with her until she makes a smooth transition, unless you are going to be allowed to work in there with her.  I had a baby that I was really attached to and it was so hard to see her go. She was ready to move up, and though it was hard, it was completely necessary.  Once she settled in, I was able to visit with her.  Our bond did not stay as strong though, but as she got older we started to regain our bond again. She is 3 now, and whenever I see her she runs to me and hugs me and says hi.  It is great that you had such a great bond with her, this has helped her to form healthy attachments!  

Answer 8

The same thing happened to my son when he was in daycare. he started at 6 weeks old and at age 2 he had to move up to the next room and by then he was very well bonded with his caregiver. he would scream and cry, it got to the point where i took him out of that daycare and let my aunt start keeping him. maybe the daycare will allow you to move up to the next room and place the teacher now in that room in the infant room? GOOD LUCK.

Answer 9

The hallmark of good infant care is the bond between the child and the caregiver. It is sad that in some places licensing regulations do not let the bond continue until preschool.In some programs babies move every few months, a terrible thing to do to babies. You need to keep reassuring her that she'll be OK. Make sure the new caregiver understands her needs and routines. Perhaps you can work in the room for a few days to help her get settled. Don't disappear from her life. Stop by the room when things are calm. Let her know how good it makes you feel to see her playing and happy. Let the new staff work with her when she is upset. She needs to learn to trust them so a bond can form.