I worry about disliking children?

Question

I am recently married and my husband does not like children. He actually will go out of his way to avoid having to be in childrens company for extended period of time. We do know we want children but I am really concerned and so is he that he will not like our children. I want an honest answer... does anyone not like their kids? My concern is that we will have children and then my husband will not take to them.

Answer 1

Well, I truly feel that you love your own kids in a way that you cannot imagine before.  Even if you have limited exposure or patience with other kids.  Just because you love your own kids, that doesn't mean you will love ALL kids.  

BUT, and this is a big BUT!  If you have kids, I can guarantee it there will be other kids around.  Kids like other kids.  And then you have to take your kids to kid-friendly places which guess what - means there will be other kids there.  So having kids sets you up for being around kids.  You HAVE to deal with it.  You don't have to LOVE the other kids but you will have to at least be tolerant and kind to them.

And don't get me started on other PARENTS!   They are tougher to tolerate than their kids!!  :0

Answer 2

talk to your husband about this and ask hows he feel about kid and then see if you still wants to have kid with him or not  

Answer 3

My husband grew up an only child with a few cousins who lived far away. He was not a kid person. We now have 4 children and plan to have more, he's just as into the kids as I am!

But....when our oldest was born (he's now 7) my husband was not so happy. The pregnancy was exciting for both of us. Our son was born and I was thrilled!! My huby, on the other hand, not so thrilled. First of all, while in the hospital, hubby changed his very first diaper and our precious little baby peed all over his daddy! In his hair, his face and his clothes! It was so funny! He however didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Well, the first 6 or 8 months were a bit difficult. Hubby wasn't up for all the crying and interupted sleep, even though he wasn't the one up during the night! But by the time our baby was 12 months old, we were planning the next baby!

Something to keep in mind is that it's very different when you have your own children. You have more patience more tolerance for your own children.

Honestly, you sound like my thoughts about 9 yrs ago. I knew I wanted kids, but didn't know how my hubby would handle it. And for us, everything worked out wonderfully!

Answer 4

Are you sure he actually said he wanted to have children, and not that you just assumed he did?  Could he have just been telling you that because he wanted to marry you?

Wow.  You are in a pickle, there.

Answer 5

Gee this may have been something you and your husband discussed before getting married. I honestly don't think that it is a good idea for someone who dislikes children to risk bringing one or more into the world with the chance they will be disliked. It is not the child's choice to be born, so why would you knowingly bring one into the world that may feel hated by their own father? That would be a lifetime of torment in my opinion. Get a pet.  

Answer 6

I was the same way. I didn't like kids or want to have anything to do with them. I was awkward and didn't know what to say to them or how to interact with them. But it was completely different once I had my daughter. All of a sudden I could interact with a baby, talk in a baby voice without feeling self-concious and I have patience which I never had before. When you have a child, I believe Nature takes over.

Answer 7

I have two children and they are my life.  The same goes for my husband.  When I was childless many kids got all my nerves and I could not tolerate listening to them have fits or cry.  I avoided going out with my sister because my nephew wined alot and I found it embarrassing.  I now have 2 kids of my own and I can say that other children still tend to get all my nerves.  I can not tolerate how some kids jump around and are very hyper.  My kids do not bother me at all but I think it is because they are mine and I have taught them my values and beliefs.  They listen....  I cannot tolerate the kids whose parents have given them no guidance and they have no manners.  Do not think that every child is this way because it simply isn't true.  Once you have a child and the first time you hold him or her it will be instant love trust me.  It is a feeling like nothing else in this world!!!

Answer 8

I felt this way too.  It's different with your own child.

Answer 9

Although your husband will no doubt love your child more than the brat down the street, don't assume that he will jump in to help as much as you want him too.  The bulk of parenthood may well fall on your shoulders.  And depending on you and your situation, that may or may not be acceptable.

Answer 10

it is true that its different with your own however I personally don't care to be around people who 'don't like kids' because they often think that their kids wont act like everyone elses and they are often judgmental to people who have children that are difficult to deal with or have special needs.

think this through carefully, just because he is good with the dogs doesn't mean he will accept the changes that a child will bring.

Answer 11

I'm only 14, so I don't know if this is really the sort of opinion you were looking for, but whatever... :)

My dad hates... people.  It's a wonder he got married... and he doesn't like kids that much, either.  My mom worried about this, too.  But I know he loves me even though he's rough around the edges.  I think that when you have kids there's a bond that is really special between the child and their parents, and that a parent can't help but not love their child.

Answer 12

Ooohh brings back bad memories.

I was the one that wanted children, (ex)husband didn't but put up with me wanting kids.  From the moment my oldest was born, I felt like a single parent.  I can count on one hand the number of times he picked up the kids from school (and he was off work).  Now that I am a single mom, it's so much easier.

Talk to your husband before you have kids.  Try a dog or a cat first.  If he's not a good "daddy" to the dog or cat, he won't be a good daddy to your children.

Answer 13

I, personally, am not a big fan of kids.  They can really get on my nerves.  I have a 4 year old daughter and there are days that she can truly drive me crazy, but I love her immensely and she can really crack me up and makes me feel better when I am down.  She always knows just what to say.  I am also 32 weeks pregnant..a planned pregnancy.  So, obviously I decided it was worth it!  I am the type that does not babysit and would prefer to be around adults.  It is true, though, that is really is different with your own children.  I have often noticed that it is not the children that are so awful, it is their crappy parents who do not make them act civil.  Your husband will love your children.  You will all have your off days, but everything will be fine. :)

Answer 14

If someone does not like children, what makes them think that they want children? Not having children and not liking them already is huge. What people without children see is only a caption of what life is like raising children.

Without children you may see a screaming brat having a melt down in a situation. Guess what? That happens at home too, sometimes even more severe to those children who are able to somewhat temper their actions in public.

Granted I think you are much more tolerant with your own children, yet it doesn't sound like your husband is mature enough to handle being a parent.

Answer 15

To be honest, I really don't like other kids.  I have two that I adore and love to hang out with, but don't enjoy other people's kids very much at all, including  my nieces and nephews.  That will probably never change!

I think when he has kids of his own, he will feel the same way!  Kids are so amazing when they're born, and to know you were apart of that is a feeling you'll never forget!  Don't worry too much. You will both be so proud!  Just wait until you both are ready.