I would like a mans point of view on this question, my husband constantly accuses me of cheating. ?

Question

He has even went through my truck with a flashlight when I have gotten home from class and rummaged through my dirty clothes after I have come home from work. He has been cheated on in the past but, I am not like the last one and I have explained myself way to many times. This is very embarrassing and humiliating to me (degrading as well) and I'm afraid the kids will here us arguing about this. What should I do.

Answer 1

this one is easy.

he is probably cheating on you, his conscience is bothering him and he is acting out on it.

if you didn't give him a valid reason for suspicion then it is most likely something he did that'ss bothering him.

You'll have to have him sit down with you and work this one out, it's one of those insidious things that really breaks a relationship because it doesn't need empirical evidence to support it.

good luck!

Answer 2

It's too bad he has such trust issues because that kills a relationship.  You really need to have a very long conversation with him and tell him how his actions are making you feel.  

Answer 3

Find a guy who trusts and respects you.

Answer 4

I went thru this also, I'm not a guy and not telling you what to do but most guys who are that paranoid are doing something they feel guilty about.  At least that's what happened in my case.

Answer 5

He may be cheating ...sometimes when people are cheating or have they get suspicious of you.

If he doesn't trust you then maybe it's not a very a good relationship  

Answer 6

Ask him why he's obsessing over something that's not occurring. Be sure to realize he may be cheating on you and simply wants you to be the first to be caught. (HINT)

Answer 7

well, he must be doing it for a reason. show him what you're really doing that makes him so curious so he stops thinking about it.

Answer 8

I think you should stop what ever it is to make him not trust you, you are doing something and you know what that is so stop that.

Answer 9

Point blank tell him to cut it out or he will lose you. People can only take so much. Trust has to come from within first.  If he doesn't trust his self to be the man of your dreams, then it's his problem & something that you will never be able to measure up to.

Answer 10

How long have you been married?  How long did you date beforehand?  Did he demonstrate this type of behavior while you dated?  

If all IS on the up and up, and you are not cheating, he needs (maybe both of you) to seek counseling.  He has trust issues.

Answer 11

There is nothing you can do. My ex was like that. Come to find out my ex was cheating and he was searching hoping to find something to justify his reason for cheating.

Answer 12

He absoluitely is paranoid delusional and needs psychiatric evaluations. I know this for sure. Lived wioth one. If he refuses, go to alawyer a diviorce,. Mental illness gets worse over time.

Answer 13

Are you cheating on him?

Answer 14

Ask him what is it that makes him so insecure. If his attitude still persist you might want to ask for help from your friends to help you. I know it is tough for you to be keep accused of such thing

Has he made any effort to trust you at all? If not, that means he's still trapped in his past and traumatized and has not let go his old fears by now. You might want to find some quite time together and try to talk about what bothers him.

If it's still not working then - I'd stick to the 1st answer above.

Answer 15

You are teaching your children the wrong thing. Trust is a major part of a relationship. If he doesn't trust you then you need to get counseling or get out. You create what you fear. He is pushing you out the door and making his worse fear come to light. You shouldn't have to validate him every single day. How if the world did you marry this guy if this is how he acts?

Answer 16

I beleive that he thinks a lot more highly of you than he does himself.  This stems from low self-esteem and an underlying feeling that you are too good for him.  Usually this is because he has a problem that he is not coping with.  It could be alcohol abuse, or perhaps he feels guilty because he enjoys looking or thinking about other women (which is normal for a guy).  Regardless, he needs to take care of his business and stop living in fear or yours.  I see many people have responded as 'trust' issues.  I disagree.  I believe he has 'faith' issues.  Fear or Faith....which one will he choose.  

Answer 17

Your husband obviously has some serious trust issues.  You need to learn how to cope with his behavior and he needs to learn how to trust you. Try suggesting couple's therapy and then may he will start going on his own, as well, since he's the one with the serious issues.

Answer 18

Perhaps he has something to hide and is paranoid you will do the same.  He may be the one who has cheated...guilty..

Answer 19

I read a few of the answers...maybe you should join him and help him search your vehicle...your phone...whatever...If you help him a few times, he will realize you have nothing to hide, restore his faith in you and you both can move on...good luck...try it...it works.

Answer 20

Are you showing interest in s*x with him?  If not, he might be looking for reasons why you're not interested.

Answer 21

He's got issues, and unfortunately, he's either imagining and reading in to too much, or he's being reminded of the ex by similar nuances or mannerisms.

I'd go find a counsellor, and figure out some appropriate boundaries, to protect yourself from the embarrasment and humiliation.  If you're innocent, you shouldn't have to explain yourself.  

If you are in the USA, I think the 1st amendment grants rights of thought and opinion.  He's free to think whatever he likes.  I think there's also an amendment that says something about innocent until proven guilty.  Talk to a counsellor about how to request that right be honoured.

Answer 22

Difficult. some people that have been cheated on never trust again.its an issue you need to make a decision on.If he wont believe you and it is affecting you then you need to consider ending the relationship as hard as that would be.Try talking first when he's calm and thginking logically.

Answer 23

He's gone round the bend. There's only one thing to do. Pack up the kids and get away from him. Either that or stay there and put up with it. Your choice.

Answer 24

Sounds like he has good reason.  Blame it all on those tramps who broke his heart in the past.  It sounds like you have to pay for what they did to the poor guy.

Answer 25

Go to marriage conseling on this matter.  I went to 4 x because I was stressed out, frustrated and depressed. I once got extremely paraniod with my wife like this.  Its because she gets extremely suspicious in her daily activities and dresses way too pretty and s**y.  

Answer 26

Stop arguing about it.  Why are you arguing about it anyway?  It's only humiliating because you are telling yourself that it is.  Ignore his behavior.  Don't let him turn his problem into your problem.  Hold your head high and go on about your business.

Answer 27

Do not play into the fire that burns, but water it down and lay out soft Pearls.

Aldo Rosado

Creek Indian Tribe

Columbus, GA