I would like marital help?

Question

I have been married for 6 years with a 5 year old boy. My love life with my wife has become scary. when we first started dating almost 10 years ago,our s*x life was great. but now, I have to ask for a hug, and barely ever get a kiss. when I go in for a kiss, she turns her head so i kiss her cheek. s*x is nonexistent. i am very patient, when i bring up my feelings, it turns into a sad fight. she says she feels no passion (she is overweight and has doesn't feel s**y) and would understand if i went out to find another woman to fill my needs, that crushed me, i could never do that. she doesn't believe me when i tell her I still find her s**y and good looking .but now that our son is heading off to school, I would like to have another kid but don't want to fight about it.

Am i a lost cause, or is there still help?

Answer 1

She just told you to find another woman to fulfill your needs.  You bothering her about s*x isn't fulfilling her very real need to be left in peace.  Nobody says you stop loving your wife just because you're porking someone else.  It just is what it is.

Answer 2

U r such a gr8 man.....U know what?tell her more often that u love her and that u still find her attractive.alternatively,go 4 councilling.ur wife has low self-esteem and she needs 2 regain it.

Answer 3

If she doesn't want more kids, no more kids.

But you need to get laid once in a while. Buy her flowers, take her shopping for some new clothes at a nice place that can get s**y stuff for her. Try to get her self esteem up.

Answer 4

I think you really need to sit down with her and tell her exactly how you are feeling.  Let her know that if she refuses to work on this, maybe counseling would help, that your relationship is doomed to fail.  The fact that she is overweight and feels bad about herself is something she needs to work on, and let her know that you will support her.  I think it's great that you still find her attractive and you are telling her this. It is clearly a low self esteem issue on her part.

My advice is counseling.

Answer 5

i know how your wife feels i am overweight and have no idea why my husband finds me attractive. look in her eyes and say "hunny (or whatever you call her) i love you, to me you are the most beautiful women in the world and i dont have the desire to ever be with anyone else. without you iam nothing. you are my everything. you are so s**y and you dont even have to try."  get a babysitter and take her out. wine and dine her win her back again make her feel like she is young again. remind her why you love her  

Answer 6

No you are not a lost cause, your wife sounds like she may be depressed.  Encourage her to talk about her problems with someone, but always make sure she knows that you think that she is s**y, and beautiful.  Maybe after she talks to someone and finds the cause of why she feels like that she will want to get pregnant.  Be patient, and supportive.

Answer 7

Your wife doesn't feel s**y hun, it doesn't matter what you tell her, it's the way she sees herself. Perhaps you could buy her a gym membership (ask her first though ) or a make over, hair, make up, clothes.

The passion thing you can sort out quite easily.

If finances allow, book a nice hotel room, buy candles, bubble bath, flowers, champagne & book a table at a nice restaurant.

Go to your hotel room, drop your bags off, get ready for the meal, go eat. Go back to the hotel room, draw a bubble bath of your wife, light the candles & place them around the bath ( make it special for her ).

Pamper her hun, sounds like she needs it.

Good Luck. X :-)