I would like to adopt my stepdaughter.?

Question

I joined the army. I leave for basic training in august. I'm getting married before then. My fiance would like me to adopt her daughter.The father didn't sign anything and wasn't present at the birth. He has VERY rarely even seen her in the last year. She is one year old. Is that considered abandonment, and him not having any rights yet and stuff, does that make it easier for me to adopt. He doesn't do anything except drink and moves from one friends house to the next, and we would really like for me to be her father. Its important I am dad legally, because its the only way she can get the army benefits and all that jazz. Advice? Comments? Experience?

P.S. - the only thing connecting my stepdaughter to him is her last name. nothing else.

Answer 1

If the baby has the fathers last name then he will have to legally sign over the name change unless they were never married. But it all depends on what state you're in as well. Best I would say is to call a lawyer and inquire about it. If you get the right lawyer they can do it for you but you will have to go to court.

I live in Missouri and had this done as well but did it when I turned 21 because my father wouldn't agree with the change and had to be a certain age where he couldn't contest it. My parents were also divorced and thats why he had to sign that he agreed with the name change before I turned a certain age.

Answer 2

I am going through the same thing with my son. My fiance wants to adopt him. My son's sperm donor has only seen him 3 times and my son is 5 years old. My son wouldnt know  him if he had seen him on the street. Also, his sperm donor has 15 children by different women and is serving a 60 year sentence in prison for a drug charge. He has never supported him financially and has also lived a drug-induced dangerous lifestyle. My son is better off without his sperm donor. What I have heard is the best way is to put an announcement in the paper and consult an attorney. Good luck.

Answer 3

You have to get a lawyer and find out what the laws are in your state.  Many states require 2-3 years of no contact or no court-ordered child support before you can have his rights revoked for abandonment.  It is much more effective to just have him sign off on it.  Given his current lifestyle, he likely won't have issue with it.

Answer 4

FYI~ Step-children get all the benefits that natural children get when the father is in the Army and married to the mother. You don't HAVE to adopt to get the medical life insurance and or BAH.~~~(prior poster above mom of many is right about all)

Answer 5

You will need to see an attorney.  Find an adoption attorney so they can give you the best advice possible.  If the birthfather is not inclined to sign over his rights, she can always threaten to file for child support.  That's always a great motivater if he really is a deadbeat dad.

Answer 6

Call legal aid or go see a lawyer. You need the advice of someone that knows the laws for things in this matter. Good luck!

Answer 7

in alot, if not all states you have to be married to her Mom for two years before you can adopt. They want to make sure the marriage will work. If she lives with Mom (your future wife) then when you get married she gets all the benefits of a natural daughter as long as you are married. (insurance included)

Answer 8

he has to completely give up his rights. you might need a lawyer for this seeing that if he is a total ****** he might ask for compensation and also if its not done properly (the paper work) then it can come back in haunt you later (especially if you ever need to be stationed overseas)

Answer 9

The birth father will have to sign off his parental rights and then you petition the court to adopt your step-daughter.  It normally takes up to one year for it to become legal.  So you will have your first appointment with the judge and one year later you will appear in front of the judge again to get his/her approval.