I would like to know how to get over feeling abandoned, cuz I was adopted.?

Question

When I was 6 mos. I was adopted into a wonderful family. Though they are white, I am Cree (Canadian Indian). I grew up hating Indians, cuz I had so much racism and prejudice. My parents are proud that I'm their little Indian girl, they even sent me to Indian camp when I was 12, and I hated it. But I have 3 brothers and growing up with them was really good, we were all very close. Then my oldest brother Dennis, got with this lady, who lied from the very beginning. She said she was Enya!!! And had my parents believing for 2 years, course I knew she wasn't and if I tried to say she wasn't I was shhushed. Anyways, she caused so many problems between me and my brother, and she even accused us of having s*x once!! He had 2 kids with her, he's an alcoholic, and so is she, and she should be on medication, but she doesn't always take it. Anyways a couple of years ago, I phoned them to ask them if they wanted to do a mothers day dinner, everyone bring something. So they said they'd do the meat, my other brothers were brining something else, and I said I would bring dessert. I am no baker, but I probably shouldn't have said I would just pick up cookies, but he said, "You stupid fat ******* Indian, you aren't even part of this family!" Well this hurt, eventually we made up, kind of, we had xmas last year, and it was okay. but now he is dying of cancer, he has 3 mos. to live, and i try and call but they don't take my calls.

Answer 1

If they're not taking your calls, you probably shouldn't bother. It sounds like he had no reason to act so racist towards you. Focus on your relationship with the other members of your family, and make sure they're going well.

If he has cancer and his death is imminent, he should be making the best of people around him, not outcasting them. Speak to your family about how you feel and see if they can help.

Answer 2

Your amazing with your insight towards people.  I'm also a Cree Adoptee. The feeling of abandonment doesn't go away, unfortunatley.  The main thing you need to know through, is you're now a daughter of this family and sister to these men.  You're also an aunt.  I suggest teaming up with your mother or another brother and offering to go with them when they visit your brother.  Just explain to them how uneasy you feel when your alone, {especially about the accusation of sexual abuse from your in-law}.  It's better to always have a buddy to witness and have your back.  The other thing which would be stellar on your part is to mail get well cards.  Phone calls will not be answered, but that doesn't mean you have to stoop to their level.  If you look anything like me, I'm sure you're beautiful and people always bully the pretty ones.  Especially the minorities.  Double goes for the ones who are adopted into caucasian familes.  You can't change the past, but you can change the present.  Kudos to your mom for opening her home to an orphan.  I know from experience how society to doubly-prejudiced against familes with adoptees.  Even if the parents are ''white''.  Good luck and keep posting.