I would love to hear some comments

Question

Under the mango tree

By Ru Hewage

Copyrights@ruhewage

Rumbling tummys under the mango tree.

stoke a fire in hopes it crackles ,

bananna leaves with morsels hidden,

wrap the lolvely feast ahead

A thin wisp of a creature

stokes the fire harder than any other

her dark eyes follow the wind

while her hands shield the fire

This was a holiday with a swing

spent under that tree of magic

Where blackcrows watched with greedy eyes

As grandmother made us treats.

Answer 1

The poem itself is quite good...the punctuation is a little off..."hopes" should be "hope", "lolvely" should be "lovely", and your use of capitalization seems a little haphazard...I'd suggest the first word of each line, or the first word of each phrase.  Good images, nicely done.

...edit it a little...and keep writing.

Answer 2

I love your poem.  I can only suggest you correct the three spelling errors (tummies, bananas, lovely), and correctly punctuate it so that it reads with the same flow that you wrote it.  I think this is marvelous in content and I love the way you've structured it as well.  Only minor editing makes this a ten!!

Rumbling tummies under the mango tree

stoke a fire hoping it crackles;

banana leaves with morsels hidden

wrap the lovely feast ahead.

A thin wisp of a creature

stokes the fire harder than any other;

her dark eyes follow the wind

while her hands shield the fire.

This was a holiday with a swing

spent under that tree of magic;

where black crows watched with greedy eyes

as Grandmother made us treats.