I wrote a song, my first, opinions please!?

Question

is it me or is the sky extra bright tonight?

baby is it me or are there stars in our eyes?

if its not the way we feel, then please explain these butterflies

cause they block my view, all i want is you, theres nothin gettin in my way tonight.

give it a chance, lets get something started

dont be afraid, lets not make this harder

we know what there is, and what isn't there.

your sending me signs that tell me you want this

your sending me sign that tell me your scared

i wont be that girl, so mean and so heartless,

i'll do anything, anything, to show you i care.

so just give it a chance, lets get something started

dont be afraid, lets not make this harder

we know what there is, and what isn't there.

our hearts dont need tangling

they're already sore

we both dont need this

we cant take it anymore

but if we listen real closely

we can both tell

that the stars are all talking

about the night that i fell, for you.

so just give it a chance, lets get something started

lets make a change, lets make a promise

and no matter what happens, i'll always be right there.

and i'll always think back to that night,

i said, i cared.

i was bored and thinking about this boy.

i dont care if its good, but i do want to know what people think.

be honest, but dont take this poem/song seriously.

Answer 1

This is good an workable.

But before going any further I would really put a hold off any posting of your lyrics unless your work is protected. Copyright your materials. If you are serious about your lyrics and music. Follow the link below

If you are interested in adding music to your lyrics, let me know and we can assist you. We can also assist you with the copy write.

XGoz

Producer/Songwriter

Answer 2

I'd say good one, a bit of tweeking maybe. ie in your chorus We know what there is , & what there isn't is.

& the night i fell, (for you)

Answer 3

Wow, I'm a musician and I think it's great! You have REAL talent for writing and poetry, especially since I'm guessing you are young. You'll probably get some yahoo's on here making fun of it, but that's life. If you enjoy it and you're good at it (you are!), do it often and with love and don't let anyone stop you, no matter what! Take it from an older guy, you'll be thankful you did when you look back and you are HAPPY with your life. Great work!

Answer 4

For a first song, that's pretty great. Way better than I could ever do! I actually heard a beat starting in my head when I was reading it =]