I wrote these lyrics ---are they good??

Question

Some how i wanted to tell you,

the things i'll never say,

The fact i'll love you more

than i ever did today.

But everytime i see you,

It all just slips away,

and the words i'd like to tell you arent the ones i'm gonna say.

Cos my heart skips a beat or two when i see you.

butterflies over power when you speak to me,

i cant seem to find the right words to tell you.

that you are everything to me.

You are the last thing i see when i fall asleep,

You are the first sight when i wake up

You're the secret that i can keep

I love you

You are me VAMPIRE, my only vampire

Cos my heart skips a beat or two when i see you.

Butterflies over power when you speak to me

i can't find the words to tell you

that you are everything to me

My vampire,

my only vampire.

i shall always keep your secret

cos i love y-o-u--

those are them i got 4 questions

1-are these lyrics good

2-would you be interested in writing guitar music for it(if so giv me ur yahoo mail

3- give me examples on how to make it better

4- any name ideas

Answer 1

i luv them you go ahead gurl!!!

Answer 2

very nice and i love the chorus!

Answer 3

1.)Yes they are very good.

The only part i didn't find as good as the rest was this part:

Cos my heart skips a beat or two when i see you.

Butterflies over power when you speak to me

Its good but the i think you need to rethink it.

2.) I don't play the gutair, My best friends brothers do :)

But I thik this song might be good on piano. If you've ever heard Vanessa Carlton's a thousandd miles that's kinda what i'm thinking

of.

3.)Whats the Vampire all about? Is this based on the book twilight?

If it is maybe give some more info about the vampire cause it kinda doesn't make sense.

4.) Her are some ideas: My secret.Vampire love. Secret Love.

Skip a beat.

I'm sure you'll come up with a good name :)

Hope I could help,

Crazy red head

Keep writing!!! :)

Answer 4

VAMPIRE? VAMPIRE? DO NOT USE TWILIGHT IN A SONG!

Answer 5

love it!! good luck!! ^_-

Answer 6

Did you write this because of Twilight?

I think your lyrics are very good ;)  

Answer 7

Very nice lyrics!

Maybe "My Vampire"?

Also, I wondered if the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer influenced this?