I wrote this children's story, what do you think?

Question

Here's the link: http://squirrelord.deviantart.com/art/Light-and-Dark-65251252

If you think it's not appropriate for kids, just remember. It's no worse than the kind of things Christian kids learn from the Bible.

Answer 1

ooooo!

that was so good!

i would advise you to write more then

try to get a book published!

oh i found it so wonderful!

eek! i write myself but i like it....a lot!

congrats on your story it was absolutely magnificent!

sorry but i can't hold myself back! and the words were not too long to me and that's what writers do! is be great at what they do....eek i did it again....oh wellit was great!

Answer 2

Use smaller words remember they are children

Answer 3

I can tell that it's not a very happy story, write a story about frolicking faries, that should even things out!!:)

Answer 4

Its good.. Good moral.  Maybe too much vocab for children.  Id aim the story at like 12 yr olds.  Reminds me of a Greek myth.  Almost a legend.  But I like it!

Answer 5

hi i don't know if this is answering your question but if u want to write stories and have people tell u if its good and other stuff like that u should go on http://www.webook.com/. its cool.  

Answer 6

i thought it was amazing. very good!

Answer 7

It's a good idea to read aloud to younger children or to a group. It's great for that purpose, and you could write a few of these and put them in a book, and I could see how it would work. On behalf of myself and all of www.bestbooks4ever.com, good luck with this story and others (-:

Answer 8

I think it's quite good. Maybe for a little bit of an older kid type thing. Lots of the words they may not understand. Great use of your imagination!

Answer 9

Hey,

I love it! It's really good and sounds great for children! Keep writing, your very creative :)

xxxx

Answer 10

i think it great