I wrote this last night. Opinions please?

Question

How distant the days seem when I was in your arms.

Lying there beside you, safe from all harm.

I swore to you from your side I would never fall astray.

That my emotions and feelings for you are here to stay.

Now, alone here I sit, thinking of all that was said.

It's permanent, stuck. Can't seem to get you outta my head.

The nights are so long, days even longer.

When in this amount of pain, how can I grow stronger?

I try to put away thoughts of you, but they always come back.

Thinking of this, dreaming about that.

I still smell you on my body, still taste your lips

Still long for your hugs, still need your kiss.

I can't keep missing you anymore.

Praying every moment that you will walk through the door.

Yet, the door stays closed. The tears silently fall,

Without a sound, I have quickly lost it all.

The dreams of you haunt me.

The thoughts of you plague me.

If I could hold you in my arms once again.

I would never let you go, never let it end.

I'd never again doubt the way I feel.

Answer 1

oh wow! tht is amazing! you  are a great writer!

Answer 2

"The dreams of you haunt me.

The thoughts of you plague me."

i loved that part . it was so touching!

You have a great talent.

Answer 3

I love it! It is wonderful it reminds me of how I feel sometimes when my social life dies.

Answer 4

I don't know how long you been writing like this but see lots of talent and would like to see more of your poems on different subjects besides love!  Real good Cheers!!

Answer 5

Hey I really liked your poem! It got kind of long, and I felt like you might have repeated some of the same ideas near the end, but overall it flowed and rhymed really well. The only thing I could suggest is maybe arranging the lines differently, like:

"How distant the days seem

when I was in your arms.

Lying there beside you,

safe from all harm."

I don't know. You don't have to change it, it just looks better to me this way. Overall: great poem. It should be a song!

Answer 6

you are an amazing writer. some people can't write long poems like tihs because they get boring near the end. but this poem had my attention straight up untill the end. i even wanted some more. i lovvvveee ittt.