I ♥ my husband but...........?

Question

He wont talk to me. He hardly wants to have s*x and if he does its always as soon as he wakes up. I like kissing but morning breath is icky! When I talk to him he gets grumpy! Any ideas or tiips?

Answer 1

Wear less around the house, but stop talking to him, especially about s*x - act like you don't care.  Don't wear bras, unless you're huge and they hurt.  Don't wear underwear to bed.  Start watching sports; even if you don't care, just leave the TV on in the room and yell "yeah" every couple of plays.

Go buy some clothes that are a size smaller than what you have now.  This includes shirts, shorts, pants, bras, underwear, etc.  Squeeze into em.  

Play music, any kind, although racy female rock is best.

If it's warm out, sunbathe in the backyard.  Wear as little as possible.  Get a bikini from wicked weasel.  Do NOT ask how you look in it, just wear it.  If no one's around, take your top off.  Use a lot of lotion.

Try to talk to him as little as possible.  

Answer 2

So what exactly do you love about someone who won't even talk to you and gets pissed off when you try?  

Answer 3

This is what happens in marriage.  What...you think you can handle this till death?

Didn't think so.

Answer 4

tell him you feel and still ignores don't speak until he comes to you

Answer 5

u def need to talk t him about it. if things don't change, tell him he has to brush his teeth in the morning b4 u hav s*x/kiss(i din't say this to offend u, but u said it urself u don't like moning breath)

Answer 6

I'm sure if you had a chat with him about how you'd like to revamp your marriage, he might think it's a good idea.

Maybe you take turns every other saturday night to be intimate. You choose if you want to do it and how... then on his turn, if he doesn't want to, then you can't critisise or complain, even if it's at 7 am. good luck.

also, ask him if something is bothering him. he may be having feelings that you aren't aware of.

Answer 7

Whats wrong with these men, sorry, mine is the same way, it's like hes going throug mid life crisis or something, drives me nuts, and sometimes you feel so alone, I know.  I just pray its a stupid phase hes going through, and ignore it and do things to make myself happy,  I seriously am hoping its just a phase. I try telling him all the time that I wish we had more communication in our life, and it's like I just get laughed at.  I hope that one day he will wake up, and yours will to! I'm sure your a good person to him, don't get discouraged.

Answer 8

Melissa, just keep talking to him and try to work something out, if he loves you, you and him should be able to work it out.

Answer 9

This seems to happen a lot when things get old and predictable. Spice it up a little bit. Wear that special something for him one night. Don't let him do anything in the morning. Be aggressive and make him want you.

Answer 10

Tell him to brush his teeth when he first wakes up, then come back in for s*x. Just talk to him about it. Nothing will ever get resolved if you don't just talk about it.

Answer 11

Yeah...trade him in for a better model.

Answer 12

Its a guy biology thing and a control issue.

Answer 13

hm that's a problem....

ok so maybe u should consider trading him in... but seriously, maybe u should get into sumtin s**y that he likes before u go to bed... u know seduce him... that should work i figure and if that doesn't work... well he is probably g*y...or ur not trying enough...

honest opinion anyway..

Answer 14

"His breath is 'icky'????"  Are you sure you're old enough to be married???

Answer 15

Honey I know it might be hard to hear, but if he isnt talking to you there is obviously a problem. I think maybe there is some underlying issue that needs to be resolved. The s*x thing, all men only want to have it in the am. Its normal, but the fact that he wont any other time of the day is a little odd. You may want to look into seeing someone else (I mean a Dr or therapy)... You need to fix it before it gets worse!

Answer 16

Maybe you guys should try counseling.  

Answer 17

For all the old adages that men have no emotions, our sexual drive is tied up very strongly in our personal regard for ourselves, our family, and our lives.

Your husband seems to be suffering in some way. It's up to you to figure out what it is and try to fix it.

"He wont talk to me."

This is a typical female complaint. Men are not complusive gabbers. That's what girlfriends are for. You may have bled him dry, and he is reluctant to strike up a conversation that could lead on for hours. Remember that you have FOUR TIMES as much communication brain space as he does. He's not going to be able to keep up.

Keep your conversation concise and to the point. If you have to unload on someone, phone a friend.

This brings up another important point: When women talk, it's to bond with the other person. When men talk, it's to communicate a problem.

In otherwords, if you've been talking (complaining, whining, story-telling, braging, gabbing), a lot lately, he may be taking it as an onslaught of problems that he has to deal with.

You may be making him feel (not intentionally, but nevertheless) that you've got a great number of problems he needs to help you with. Of course, women typically aren't searching for solutions (it ends the conversation), they just want to vent.

I would cut down the amount of uneeded communication either way.

"He hardly wants to have s*x and if he does its always as soon as he wakes up."

This also points to his discomfort coming from you. Obviously, when he has s*x in the mornings, he can beg off and head to work. You might want to start examining your actions. Have you done anything to distance the two of you? Have you said anything that HE could have percieved as disconent, angry, spiteful, regretful, or unhappy?

"I like kissing but morning breath is icky!"

Madam, for hundreds of years before toothpaste, women kissed their men. If this man is YOUR husband, then it's YOUR job to make sure he's good and kissed before he leaves everyday.

We don't want some floozy trying to kiss him now do we? Men don't go out for burgers when there is steak at home.

"When I talk to him he gets grumpy!"

That of all things should tell you, you're doing something wrong. Men aren't as mercurial as women. We don't usually get angry unless there is something immediately wrong with a situation.

If you are making him upset, you might want to start changing the relationship.

How? Simple.

Begin and maintain little rituals. Life is built on rituals and women are the keepers of them.

It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. When he comes home, welcome him at the door with a kiss. Give him about 20-30 minutes off work and free of the kids to unwind. Bring him something to drink or eat. Let him get out of work-mode.

Compliment him! If he does the laundry but doesn't fold the towels, tell him you appreciate his doing the laundry. If he cleans the kitchen but doesn't take out the trash, compliment the kitchen. Do not mention the trash. The more compliments you put into him, the more a source of approval you become. This increases his regard for you, and eventually his affection.

Ask for help! There is nothing that makes a man more loving, more initmate, and more loyal than the idea that a woman NEEDS him. Let him open the occasional pickle jar for you. Make sure to plant a kiss and tell him how much you appreciate having a strong man around. Even if you have to tighten up all the jars late at night....create or find things that require a MAN to do. Find dragons for him to slay. Afterwards, you get to be his princess.

Remember, this man can be either your hero, or your zero. The difference is really up to you as the wife. Women control relationships. Men have the advantage physically, but we're no match for your emotional/relationship capacity.

But, this power puts the bruden of responsiblity on you. You have to make this possible. You have to be patient while these small changes take effect. But in the end, you'll have a man who loves you, wants to help you, and misses you when he leaves.

And isn't that something worth having?

Answer 18

tell him you feel  

Answer 19

honestly, If he doesn't want s*x he is preoccupied somewhere else.  Not that he is cheating, but he is definately not engaged in matrimonal bliss.  

Answer 20

Tell him that you have needs too and that the little bit you get in the morning is not cutting it. I also suggest going out and buying you a friend. If you know what i mean. That way you can crank things up in the bed at night. Once he hears what's going on he will probably go crazy.

Answer 21

Maybe he stressed out about something. You should find out if something is going on with his job or family.  

Answer 22

Talk to him, if you don't get along then you need to work things out otherwise cut it. You are still young to find a better man!

Answer 23

Uh how about TTC-ing?

Sheesh, people that should be trying to make babies SHOULD BE HAPPY FIRST!

A baby will be the nail in the coffin of your marriage.