IMPOSSIBLE roommate?

Question

Me and a friend of mine are living in an apartment owned by the university, and it's a three persons apartment. So when our last roommate left, we had to choose a new one. We did, but she turned out to be nothing like what she said she was in the interview.

The week she moved in, she made a new cleaning schedule and rulebook, and as soon as we didn't stick to it, she would come and preach to us like a mother to a ten year old child. We'd just tell her "Fine, we'll do it next week" because we realized that there was two of us and one of her, so we wanted to be open to her say in the house as well.

However she has gotten more and more extreme. She also goes to bed at 10 and gets up at 8 in the morning - this is fine, but as soon as she goes to bed, she suddenly hears EVERYTHING apparently. She came to complain in a very harsh tone several times, while we were just talking at normal volume at 10.30 at night. This is a student house... and we don't even party or play loud music or anything. We get quiet at 12PM , and even when we're not quiet we are reasonable. But she always just had this dictator-air about her, so we always just said "sure". I know we shouldn't have, but it wouldn't have helped anyway to stand up against her. It's not that she doesn't understand.

This morning she got up at 8 and started making VERY MUCH noise. Turned on the laundry dryer, yelled through the hallways at her friend who was staying with her. When just now I asked her to please be more quiet from now on, she got all self-righteous and said "Well if you start getting quiet at night!" and I don't even make a SOUND at night. I don't play music, I have the TV on the lowest possible volume, if I talk it is at normal volume and for short periods of time, and always before midnight.

She also approved of me getting a cat in the apartment, but then once we had the cat she suddenly got all frantic and started forbidding him to be in the kitchen or her room because he is 'filthy' (she is training to becoma vet... good luck).

After the attitude she just gave me I said "I didn't know we still bothered you, why didn't you say so." She said "I've said it plenty of times." and then I told her that I always tried to keep her in account but I can't smell what she can and can't hear so she's gonna have to tell me. She stormed off and she's been moping since. The problem is she is not a spoiled little kid kind of person.... she's a farmer's daughter so to speak. Not really into sensitivity.

And I'm tired of it. What should I do? Should I look her up and stand up to her even though she is constantly storming off now, or should I just ignore her and live up to her idea of making noise at night until she leaves. I am telling you, I'm a communication person but she is impossible to negotiate with. There is no middle way, only her way. We can't ask the landlord to do something because she's not on drugs or anything dramatic like that.

Answer 1

you might wanna talk to your Resident Assitant on your floor maybe they can help out or you can go to the person who is incharge of dorming people. then they can move her out.  

Answer 2

I’m wondering if I like the drama or the wondering whether it’s true or not.

Well, there are three people living there. Who hasn’t been raised differently in this home? Gee, could it be nothing other than a natural disaster; maybe more humorous then thought, maybe exaggerated to the extreme were no one is being heard; so the next best thing to do is make noise. Tell me, when you were a kid, or even now; you can’t say there wasn’t or isn’t just one obnoxious person you found unbearable for whatever reason that you had to be mutually obnoxious to, and only to show you’re annoyance with thee intent of working there nerves JUST as yours where worked, if not more intensively. Aw, you poor thing! Come on I can admit it. Pleasure is not pain; but, it sure is stimulating to do what people say you cannot do, especially when you know what makes people tick. It’s naturally funny!  

When you finally admit you are doing this; this is when you will better find a solution to accommodate one another’s boundaries and live happily, as everyone should.

La la la la la

I wouldn't say what I would do...........

Answer 3

Tell her to buy some ear plugs and a sleep mask. Other than practicing reasonable consideration for people who are sleeping, what else can be done? Nothing. She must learn to be considerate and adapt to her current lifestyle. I bet she's homesick and is trying to hard to make other people adapt to the way she is used to living, but she is going to have to learn to adjust to a new lifestyle. That's part of growing up for everyone.

Answer 4

My old apartment's landlord told me that there is an actual law that everybody needs to be quiet from 10pm to ...I think it was 6 or 7am....meaning if your neighbor is having a loud party at 9pm, there is nothing you can do about it (even though if you call the police) because they have the right have the party until 10pm.  If you hear a loud construction noise at 7am, you can also do nothing.  What I'm saying is that...if anything, your roommate has every right to complain about your noise because she's the one that is following the law.  I understand your frustration but once someone moves in, it's not easy to kick them out...sorry.

Answer 5

you and your friend enjoy yourselves!!!  trust me, she's probably just as annoyed by you guys as you are by her.  you guys just clash.  you and your friend do what you normally do, eventually she'll kick herself out.

Answer 6

I would tell her if she doesn't like it there,then to move out. Otherwise tell her to shut up and deal (in a nice tone)., If she acts bitchy to you or asks you to do something either ignore her, or tell her to do it herself. Tell her it was your apartment first and don't back down. Act like a real ***** if need be, don't let her know youre intimidated. I would make as much noise as you want as long as it is reasonable, and if it bothers her, then introduce her to a pair of earplugs. If you and the other roommate agree, then you both need to stand up to her together.

Answer 7

I think you should definitely stand up to her. It's your house as much as it is her house. Next time she complains about you being loud at night, tell her that you are trying to keep it down, and that if she can still hear you, she should get some ear plugs. The more complacent you are with her, the more she will be condescending towards you. She is like an elementary school bully, she has to have things her way, and the only way to get her to stop is to stand up to her and don't put up with any of her ridiculous rules.

Good luck!