IN LAWS, HELP PLEASE,NOW

Question

My parents and my in-laws take turns babysititng my 5 mnth old daughter. My parents keep a clean house,but my in laws are filthy. It wasnt untill the other night when i decided to spend the night at their home that I decided that I had it. I went to the restroom and roaches and other bugs were all over the floor. Thier couches are literally 15 years old, or more, disgusting and dirtly papers clutter everywhere, it's just bad. I cant describe the rest. I dont feel comfortable with my daugter over there. lord knows what under all that clutter. They are pack rats, scared to let things go. My dads brother died of a rat bite at 5 months, I cant let that happen to my daughter. How do I tell them that I cant have my child over there anymore untill the house gets cleaned, lysol, the whole works. they will be mad but my childs safety comes first.what would u do?

Answer 1

offer to help them clean up.  sometimes people really just need an offer of help to motivate them, if they arent interested in cleaning up the mess ask them to come to your house to keep your baby or find some other alternative.  explain to them that you do not want to risk your babys health because they are packrats (tell them ib a nice way )  anybody whp knows how they live could call social services and report that there is a baby there in that squallor and then the child protective services will be on you, wondering why you are even allowing her there.

Answer 2

My in-laws are similar.  I just blame myself.  I am a germ-a-phobic.   I can't handle things in disarray.  They have never asked for my kids to go there, not that my kids would have.  

The bottom line is you need to do what is in the best interest of your baby.  You as her parent decide that.

Answer 3

You are the mommy and are the one responsible for your child's safety, and therefore you have every right to set the boundaries and standards concerning your child's environment.  I assume you have a good relationship with your in-laws.  I would sit down with them and gently tell them your concerns.  I would explain the tragedy in your family that makes you more concerned than others might be, but nevertheless you would like to follow your instinct.  I would offer to help them clean up  the house once a month or and tell them you understand how difficult it is to keep up a home.  It's always best to put the emphasis on what you can do to help to help keep them from feeling offended.  I hope all goes well.  Good luck!

Answer 4

You can't really beat around the bush when it comes to things like this.  You're just going to have to come right out and say it  Make sure you have the support of your husband.  In fact, he should be the one to address the issue rather than you if at all possible.  Just tell them that you want your daughter to spend plenty of quality time with them and you really appreciate them babysitting for you, but they can't honestly believe that this is a healthy environment for their grandchild.  Offer to take a weekend off and help them clean, sort, organize and dump anything and everything.  Other than that, its up to them.  If they aren't willing to accept your help, then they'll have to understand that you can't allow them to keep your daughter anymore.  Perhaps they could babysit at your house rather than theirs.

Answer 5

i would just be straight forward. like you said your child's safety comes first and at 5 months her immune system is not equipped to fight off all of those germs. It may cause problems between you and your in-laws and even you and you husband but it will be worth it.