IS THIS A GOOD INTRO TO AN ESSAY?

Question

History for us is just hundred and hundred of years ago not known what our ancestors passed through for our now call states,cities,and towns.They fought for power, religions, laws,language, and also for food. I will compare and contrast the Tong and Song dynasties in this essay.

Answer 1

The intention may be good but I'm kinda confused grammatically.

"For many of us, our history has become a long-lost subject. Hundreds and hundreds of years accumulated and endured by our ancestors, fighting for the territory that we now know as our towns, cities and states. Their battle was not only for land, but for food, language, laws, religion and power."

I think this is better start for you. Ad far as your last sentence. I would incorporate that idea differently into your essay. Don't say I will compare and contrast now. Relate the Tong and Song dynasties to what you just wrote in your intro.. you need a bridging statement of what you just said and what you are about to say.

Answer 2

The last sentence is rather lame.  I've done several essay writings in college.  I would write the body of the essay first then the introduction paragraph.  I would take the main topic in each paragraph and include that in the introduction.  

Answer 3

yush

Answer 4

It kind of seems scattered and doesn't really connect.  For example, when you say "I will compare....." how does that connect with your first two sentences.  When you write an intro paragraph you need to assume that the person- even if the teacher knows your topic- doesn't know a thing that you are talking about.  Also, be careful of run on sentences.  Keep it simple and concise and make sure that you connect everything so it is easy to understand.

Answer 5

you shouldnt say what youre going to discuss in the essay., so erase the last sentence. instead just say. The Tong and Song dynasties can be compared and contrasted in several ways.

Answer 6

The first sentence needs to be changed. I think understand what you are trying to say. Maybe:

"Modern society does not often recognize their ancestors struggles to create states, cities,  and towns. "

something along those lines. avoid referring to yourself or using our. For the last sentence you can say, This essay compares and contrasts the Tong and Song dynasties.  

Answer 7

This essay is about the Thong Song dynasty. What an amazing dynasty it was. Mister "Officer" from Yahoo answers was the chief high Priest of the Thong Song dynasty. Their land consisted of a million mile wide long beach filled with thick Latina/Indian/Dominican/Italian/Puerto Rican women, in the skimpiest attire. No man but Officer could be found on this beach, because all of those women belonged to him. They were his concubines (as king Solomon had). The Thong Song dynasty never fell, and is still in existence on the planet Mars where Officer dwells, naked, with 1,000,000 miles of arid beach sand and 100000000000000000000 concubines of all kinds in thongs for him to please in bed.

Answer 8

yes.

Answer 9

Well, depends on what grade you are in.