Iam 19 and i have my first boyfriend and yet iam extremely sad and depressed?

Question

so iam 19 and i have my first boyfriend. I dont know how to feel he says that he really likes me i asked him why and he said that he thinks Iam really beautiful and nice. I dont know if i like him though i mean iam sick of turning down guys and always saying no that is why i never had a boyfriend, i had a bad experince four years ago i was in love with this guy i was not dating but we talked alot then on my birthday he made out with my cousin someone i was really close to.. that experience really messed me up it still hurts to talk about it i feel like crying just writing about it. ever since then I could never replace the feelings i had with that guy with any other guy, i always said no to every guy that came my way..but a couple of weeks ago i met this guy and he asked me out and as hard as it was i said yes i mean why not. and after a couple of dates he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes but i dont know if i like him.. i know it sounds wierd but i dont really know what "like" is.. i dont know iam very scared this is all new to me.. i dont know anything iam confused...and when we kiss it feels wired I dont know how kissing should feel?? I remember my first kiss was with this guy i didnt even like and I hated me first kiss it was horrible that was three years ago. this is the first time i have kissed again with my new boyfriend and i dont know if i like it. i feel so sad why cant i be normal like everyone else?? whats wrong with me i feel so depressed.. someone please help me.

Answer 1

Honey,

That all sounds very sad, but knowing from past experiences. It all gets better when you let go. My last boyfriend left me for another girl and I thought that I would never date again because nobody could beat how amazing he was. For that reason I turned down the nicest guy I knew. Long story short, now I learn that the sooner you let go and move on the closer you are to recovering. I've met an amazing guy now and because I've let him in I'm a lot happier. Don't worry about the "Why do you like me" question, most guys will give you a similar answer. Take it as a sincere one and give this guy a chance. Eventually you will figure out whether or not its right for you. Its all  guess and test.

Good luck!