Iam not sure about tonight?! Help?!?

Question

I am having a few mates over I haven't seen in a long time tonight for a couple of drinks.

I barely go out..... well me and my partner have been together for 3 years and neither of us have gone out because we don't like the country pub scene ( well our town is more of a small city) because it is like a meat factory.

For some reason my partner doesn't want to invite his mates around as well, he would rather just drink with my mates but when he gets drunk he is so embarrasing, he is loud, repeats what he says so many times and just loves the sound of his own voice no one can ever get a word in i am not sure how to tell him that I would rather his mates come around so he can aim his attention seeking slobbery drunkness at his mates.

Otherwise I feel like it is going to be his night and not mine.

What should I do or how can I tell him nicely?

Answer 1

I think you should be honest with him without being mean. Tell him that you havent seen your friends in a long time and that while you want him to meet them you want to be able to catch up with them at the same time. Maybe if he agrees not to drink too much so he wont feel like he needs all the attention then if he still doesnt want to invite his friends it wont be a problem. If that doesnt work tell him that you really want all of your friends to meet so maybe you could make it a more routine thing to get everyone together and hang out.

Answer 2

First, you should try to figure out why he can't bring his friends over, or why he doesn't want to.  Is it simple laziness?  Or something else?  

Second, if he's drinking so much that he gets obnoxious, it's time for you to take him aside and gently tell him that he's making people uncomfortable.  It's not going to be an easy conversation, but it's the only way.  You might tell him that your friends wonder why he never brings his friends around to mingle.  

I'll assume it's a mixture of male and female friends you're bringing over.  If they were all females, you could have a more feminine-themed night and it would be easy to drop the hint - no partners allowed.  

You might want to try meeting your friends elsewhere to start drinking.  There must be somewhere to start drinking that isn't a 'meaty' pub in a small city - a restaurant, dessert shop, etc.  Or you can try to distract him with video games or something that he'd prefer to getting drunk with your friends...

Answer 3

Your partner probably is a very nice person, I dont know. But like most people sounds like a real jerk when he has had far to much alcahol. talk to him before your friends arrive, explain that this night is very important to you, you would like him to fit in and be part of the fun, but not if he is going to be jerk. what about his own mates,does he realy have any ? Is he embaressed to bring them home,maybe he has big noted himself to them and home is not what he says it is. Gosh three years together and you dont go out together, thats not very healthy, OK you dont like the pub scene, maybe you could take up horse riding, bike riding, bush walking, join a club or somthing, make new friends together as well as keeping your old ones.

Answer 4

I suggest you put out some foods to eat while having your drinks.  Something that soaks up that alcohol so that he doesn't get too drunk?  Maybe that will solve the problem before it starts.  Or, at least we can hope so!

Once he is drunk, he won't get it no matter who says what.  If it happens again tonight, don't bother to do anything?  Have another drink & then talk to him when you are both sober & maybe that will get thru?

Best wishes & I do sympathize!