Ias my poem good?

Question

this is my poem i am going to read it at a popular poetry slam tonight there are prizes for the best ones i want 2 win 1.

the anger in me

i am angry lots and lots

my parents make me angry angry angry

my ex best friend is a real witch with a b

she makes me real angry too

sometimes i want to get away from it ALL ALL ALL

and just play a game of BALL

i love my dog but she's a dog

so i am angry at the world

pretty much

yeah!!

so did u like it

Answer 1

it is passionate, but  not a prize winner. I think you got too carried away with the whole 'hate' dilemma. its a good start, keep trying!

Answer 2

I am so sorry, but this is a story. Not even close to a poem.

I dont think you will win anything with this poem. Your thoughts are too scattered, none of the lines even relate to each other.

Try writing about something specific, like something in nature. Picking an object can sometimes be easier to write about than a feeling. Feelings can go in so many differant directions, while an object can only be described in so many ways. nature is one of my favorite things to write about, well that and love. but like i said, feeling are hard to write about.

Here are some ideas:

Beach/Ocean/Waves

Moon/Sun/Stars

A Certain Person

A Tree (Sounds lame, i know. But it could really turn out great)

Rain/Storm/Thunder/Lightning

Something you experianced in your life that was important to you

Chastity/Purity (not commonly written about, but make great poems if that is something you can relate to and believe in)

Your beliefs

Your crush (who knows, he might hear it and start crushing on you)

Yourself (how you view yourself)

The war in Iraq

The economic downfall

God

religon

Okay, I am done for now, If i think of any more that may really inspire someone, I'll come back and post them

Best of luck tonight

=]

Answer mine please

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Answer 3

It's very um, angry? Maybe it's just my personal taste but I found it somewhat...unpolished?