Ice skating. Extreme shyness before your first competitions...How did you get over it?

Question

My daughter really loves ice skating. She bugged me so much to switch her from group lessons to private lessons. Her best friend is doing competitions, and my daughter is still in group lessons, learning basics. Once I asked her if she would like one day to do a solo when she gets better, and she told me Oh no mom, never I'm so shy I could never go in front of everybody alone and do this...

My question is :

How many of you ice skaters doing competitions were really really shy and did competitions anyways....

Did someone succeeded in convincing you, and if so how? What did they say to you.

Did your parents force you to do it, and you did and you realized it wasn't so bad after that, or it was bad, and you hate your parents for it!!!

Or were you so involved it this sport that you surmonted your fears to be able to get to the next level...

How did you overcome your fears of performing in front of people?

Answer 1

I am 12 and I just had my 1st competition last week. Only my dad went there. I talked to my councilor before the competition and he told me to take deep breaths. There wasn't really a lot of people. You're not trying to impress the people. You are trying to impress the judges. No one really tried to convince me, in fact I was the one who tried to convince my parents! Anyway when I got on the ice and the music started, I just skated. It was like everything was muscle memory and all I had to do was smile! Even if you fall or you know you did really bad just smile then the judges would think, maybe that wasn't so bad. I won 1st place!! :D

Answer 2

I was "Or were you so involved it this sport that you surmonted your fears to be able to get to the next level..."

My first competition was in the ISI level Delta last year in June. Before I started skating, I was a rather shy girl also... absolutely disliked recitals of any kind, shows at schools, demos, speech, public speaking...

so I was shaking my butt off at the competition.

BUT... as soon as I stepped onto the ice, I felt the kind of feeling like "I HAVE TO DO THIS... it's too late now." So I just went for it, and as soon as it was for, well, the butterflies had gone.

Also when I was watching the video of my routine, I had a sly smile on my face as I stroked to my starting position, so it didn't seemed like I was nervous at all!

P.S. My coach and parents didn't pressure me that much, for it was my first competition.

Afterwards I did the Christmas show and another competition, and now I can't get enough of competitions.

I'm itching to compete soon again, but my parents wouldn't let me compete OFTEN... it costs alot. Plus my old rink closed so I switched rinks and starting my first lesson with my new coach this Friday.

Answer 3

I was the same exact way.  I am really shy and I always have been.  My mom quit gymnastics because of being shy and didn't want me to loose out on something I loved so she made a deal with me.  If I competed at least once, then I could decide if I wanted to quit or keep competing.  I did just that and it was an amazing experience.  My parents in a way forced me to do it, but it was for my own good and I am glad that they did.    I still compete to this day, and when I'm out in competition, I am an entirely different person.  I become the opposite of shy.  I would encourage your daughter to compete, it is the most amazing feeling and I can almost guarantee that she will love it!

Answer 4

You might want her enroll in a group activity for instance ballet that requires a recital at the end, or she'd probably want to do a duet with her friend at a skating show . Those are just ideas to get her out of the initial stage fright. Once she does one appearance, she'll feel better the next one after that... HOPEFULLY

Answer 5

My experience comes from competing as an adult, so my answers to your questions probably would not really apply here. BUT, here are my 2 cents:  

I wouldn't force her to do it.  Rather, it'd be healthier for her to be able to ease into it and decide on her own that she wants to compete.  If she enjoys what she's doing and is encouraged to continue having fun with a positive attitude, maybe she'll come around.  When more of her peers start competing and she has reassurance from her coach, she just may want to do it - on her own.  

Take her to see the local competitions - especially if there are friends who have entered.  Maybe she'll see it differently once she sees how it all works:  the excitement of the skaters, dressing up, cheers and applauses from the audience, the air of accomplishment afterwards, etc.  

Perhaps see if she'd like to enter group events in ISI . . . like group numbers (small or production) or even couples.  This way she can perform in front of others with the comfort of skating with others (she won't be alone!).  When she builds her confidence with that, maybe she'll see she's perfectly capable of handling a program all by herself!

Or start her off with compulsaries or a jump and spin team where no music/program is involved - just the elements.  Doing a few elements is less intimidating than doing a whole program.  It's all to build up confidence.  

And at home, do things that encourage "performance" in front of people to build up that confidence.  Demonstrating a skating move on the carpet with everyone around, having a dance contest amongst friends . . . or even a game of charades!  

I'd say the only way to truly overcome the fears of performing in front of people is to actually do it - and to do it often.  If it's something you truly want to do, you'll find a way to deal with it.  If it's a forced situation, you dread it terribly, and you never really learn to get over it - because you see it as a negative thing.

Emphasize all the good qualities of her skating - not the shy or fearful part.   Never force - I've seen too many young skaters lose heart (and self esteem) with skating because their parents just kept pushing.  

Anyway - best of luck to your daughter and her skating!

Answer 6

I have been skating for less than a year and recently did my first competition with a syncro team, with whom i had been with for 3 months. Ok, its not the same as skating on your own [ which i will be doing in a few months!] however, it is the same principles. I am a REALLY shy, underconfident person, and was so scared before the comp, however the second i got on the ice i just thought, 'you know what, have fun, thats why you skate, thats what its all about !' and i did, i just smiled and forgot about everyone else watching and had the best time of my life! Its your daughter who will have to overcome it on her own really. To help though, here are some ideas...

Make sure that she actually likes ice skating, and isn't doing it for anyone else but herself....

Make sure she has lots of lessons and plenty of ice time to practice

Encourage her and tell her thats shes doing well

Don't push her into anything

Be honest with her about her skating

Hope i have helped, and hope you sort it out! x

Answer 7

Usually rinks will have a Christmas show that skaters can participate in where you can participate as a group. Our rink holds a special class by level that practices a routine for a few weeks, then each class gets to do their routine in the show.  The higher level kids do solos in between.  

Being with other kids her level and getting out there could be a good way to test the waters.  She might like it, but she might hate it, too.  

It wouldn't hurt to tell her straight out that you felt the same way when you were her age but that you regretted it later.  I don't know how old your daughter is but letting her know you relate will go a long way with her.

The other thing is that there are other ways to be in ice skating than singles skating.  There's synchro teams if she likes being around other kids.  There's also Moves in the Field, which is a series of tests to pass.  You do have to be on the ice by yourself but only in front of judges and a few spectators.  

And lastly, it may be that by the time she's spinning and jumping she'll be used to being out there in front of people and she'll be ready.  Having confidence in her own skill will help.