Question:

Idea's for improvement...???

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

"Beloved grandpa"

Death came, It took him away,

My beloved Grandpa, I wish he could stay,

His heart had paused, Stopped for too long,

Before we knew it, He was gone,

Months went by, Feels like he’s here,

I stop for a second, To have a peer,

I search around me, Hoping for the chance,

To possibly see him, Just a quick glance,

Grandpa wasn’t there, He will never be,

I get on with my life, Knowing he’s looking down on me.

"Tears from Within"

Tryin to hide; it’s not working as planned,

Seeing my life; finding it hard to stand,

For I never thought I’d see the day,

I let a guy do it that way.

I felt the warmth; of his hand,

Against my ribs; my neck; my hand.

Feeling the breath ripped from inside,

I had an attack; I couldn’t hide.

I was shaking; couldn’t stay steady,

What have I done; I wasn’t ready.

Days went by; still seeing the guy,

I realise now; the reason why.

He was in love; I started to cry.

A month went on; I still wonder why,

He kept coming back; when i'd said goodbye.

(I'm 15 and have been writing poetryfor the last 3 months. I wrote these poems about experiences that i have had.)

Any ideas for improvement or comments welcome.

Thankyou in Advance....

 Tags:

   Report

1 ANSWERS


  1. i think these are very good.

    to your first poem

    your grandpa will always be with you

    im young like you and ive lost all my grandparents and lost my sister recently.

    and they are always with me

    they will always be with me.

    you should feel the same way about your grandpa.

    to your second poem

    you spelled realize wrong  

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 1 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.
Unanswered Questions