Ideas for the chav Olympics?

Question

One is planning a Basildon Olympics, and need some event ideas, such as 100m pie dash, or Ooops upside ya head rowing. My logo will be five interlinking sovereign rings.

Answer 1

best outfit, burberry will be up with the leaders no doubt.  

Answer 2

Manchester shooting team

introduce new fathers for justice rock climbing on outside of stadium

Answer 3

Madam, might I suggest a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest.

I would be prepared to donate my gas chamber.

Answer 4

100 litre cider downing sprint.

who can served the most alcohol event

Answer 5

800m Buggy Sprint

110m Back Garden Fence Hurdle

Earlobe Weighlifting Competition (sponsored by Elizabeth Duke)

Love the "rowing team".... they've got 4 years to work on their synchronisation, thank goodness.

Answer 6

(Fake) Gold Medallion Hammer Throw.

100m Getaway Sprint - could follow on from Shop Lift Supermarket Trolley Hurdles.

Soulja Boy Dance-off.

Illicit Weapon Knife Javelin

Burberry Cap Discus Toss.

Answer 7

Grand theft auto, seems to have a familiar ring about it.

I do predict a gold medal in the taking for the local gentry.

Answer 8

See who can drink the most cheap cider without falling over, you could race them like dogs at the track but instead of them chasing a rabbit they could chase a giro or something.

Answer 9

80 metre, pop a cap in you *ss pistol event :)

Answer 10

Thong wedgying

Pregnant bint chain smoking with puffer deprivation

Happy slapping using the mother.