Identity theft by my daughter's grandparents-- do I forgive?

Question

My 11 yr old daughter's grandparents (her father's parents) used her information to get credit cards to pay their bills & now I have collections contacting my home & she has several thousand dollars in debt under her name- I am hiring a lawyer.

So being a Christian am I expected to keep these people in her/my life & not press charges?

Answer 1

**** them. Sue their asses. They dont deserve a dime.

Answer 2

I agree with the first reply. Press charges.

Answer 3

You have to do what ever is needed to clear yours and your child's name.  If that means pressing charges then so be it.  They must accept the consequences for their actions.

If you feel it makes you comfortable you could forgive them and tell them that but make the point that you cannot trust that they will not do it again so would prefer to keep a safe distance.

As their son has died I think it may be very charitable of you to agree to let them see her every other month or something but make legal arrangements for this.

xx  

Answer 4

You owe it to your daughter to press charges and make things right for her. I would also be very careful about letting them spend much time with her because obviously they can't be trusted to watch out for her best interests. Forgiving them doesn't mean going on like nothing ever happened.  

Answer 5

They did a very bad thing which is going to cost you in legal fees, etc. As a Christian, you might find it in your heart to forgive, but you don't need to keep them in your life.  They broke the law and need to pay for their actions.  That's a very sad situation, as your daughter will lose contact with her father's parents.

Answer 6

You should definitely hold them accountable for their wrong doings. This harmed you and your 11 year old daughter.  As a Christian, you may learn to forgive over time and whether you allow them in your life, is a personal choice, affecting you AND your daughter. But you must not condone their wrongdoing. Simply doing nothing about this says that this wrongful misdeed is OK, which really sends the wrong message!

Many of us have financial problems galore and do not stoop to this practice. I am sure you feel violated and ultimately that will pass with God's help.  In essence, hate the sin, not the sinner! We all fall short of the glory of God. However, have you learned best by your assets and strengths? Or your mistakes? Obviously they have more to learn.  

Answer 7

let the justice system handle it... by all means press those charges. what your in laws did was illegal, and vastly unkind to you and your daughter.

forgive. but that doesnt mean that you have to let your in laws run rough shod over you and disgrace your husbands memory.

there's no need to reward them for what they did by staying in relationship with them.

.

Answer 8

Being that she is 11 they can wipe her credit clean. You should forgive them and truly mean it, but that does not mean that you have to forget. You don't have to have a loving relationship with them, just don't hold a grudge in your heart because that would not be good in the eyes of God. I wouldn't talk down about them in front of your child either because it wouldn't help. I personally would not let her deal with them until she is old enough to make her own decision about it. Good luck and God bless. I wouldn't press charges either because i know it can be fixed.

Answer 9

Yes, I think that you should press charges.

Rongs must be justified, whether in this life or the next life.

In my opinion, it is better for you to be accounted for a injustice that you did in this life rather then the next.

But if they repent and ask for forgivniss then I would Forgive them.

God's doors of mercy are open durring the day for those who repent durring the night, and God's doors of mercy are open at night for those who repent durring the day.

Answer 10

Prosecute them...then forgive them, then ask for their forgiveness while you visit them in jail :)

see how it all works out?

Ez Peezy...anybody can get a credit card

Answer 11

Forgiveness is a fantasy. Only a fool would not treat the person as if they had done their wrong. It's part of accountability.

edit:

If I forgive someone it just means I am not going to seek revenge. I am not going to try to twist my feelings towards believing that they are now a better person.

Answer 12

i say press charges  

Answer 13

For fraud, I would think no. They need to show remorse and regret here. Make them come to you to ask for forgiveness, don't just give it away.

Answer 14

OMG! Clear up your daughters name, forgive them for yours and your daughters sake then get yourself and yours far away. Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to be used by them..

Answer 15

I wouldn't. Those people have shown they care more about money than you or their grand-daughter. I suggest you take them to court, and then avoid them for the rest of your life.

Answer 16

Yes, you must forgive - because God says and it will be good for you and your daughter......however, that doesn't mean you don't hire a lawyer and clear your daughter's name.........I'm sorry about your situation.............it was a betrayal.

Answer 17

You can forgive while still pressing charges and regaining your daughters good name.

To forgive a person is not to absolve them from responsibility.

They are still required to make restitution.

You are her guardian and need to keep her safe and to do so may need to keep her separate from her grandparents for a time.

Forgiveness is a process, in this case a careful one.  

You can't open up your records to them anymore, ever.

Answer 18

God forgives, but only if you are penitent.  If they ask forgiveness and make restitution, you should forgive.  

They have violated the law.  You should press charges, or they will do it again to someone else.

Answer 19

I think that sometimes we have to get beyond things to be ready to forgive completely.  It seems you are right in the middle of it and your feelings are normal.

Trust God to help you get through it any way you can and have an attitude of forgiveness, if possible.   I would have a very difficult time allowing my child to be around these people, just based on their influence.  In my state, you are not legally required to allow them to see her.  God gave her to you for a reason, and choosing who she's around is a big one.

Forgiveness doesn't mean people aren't responsible for crimes or shirking their legal responsibilities.  

Answer 20

You press charges. What they did was wrong.

Answer 21

One of my uncles did this to his brother and granparents and then transfered the debt to his brother who cannot work.The same man previously did this to his aunt while his cousin was dying of cancer.His aunt forgave him, but he did it again.

Call the fraud squad.Even if you forgive them, you still need to call the police, because they WILL do it again!Don't wait for someone else to be stung the same way.

Answer 22

Sue them, make THEM pay your debt

They can hack their house/possessions.

Answer 23

Do as you see fit, which is probably the latter. This does not make you any less of a Christian, it makes you a mother who is protecting her child.

Answer 24

No. You should sue them for everything, get the debt transferred on to them where it should be, get them locked up, then never contact them again. They've made their bed, let 'em lie in it. They've proven they don't deserve contact with you or your daughter and that they can't be trusted.

Answer 25

Your in-laws are pathetic and should be prosecuted.

Answer 26

Press charges, what they did is very wrong...

Answer 27

70 X 7, yeah.

Forgive, but don't enable.

I'd say if you contact the credit card companies, they'll contact law enforcement and you'll see some pretty quick action on that one.  Banks don't take it lightly when they lose money.

Answer 28

They need to learn that there are consequences to what they do. What they did is illegal and immoral.  Press charges.  If you don't, they will just go on to doing the same thing to other people.   You do not need criminals in your life, keep them away from you, as far away as possible.  

Answer 29

What an absolutely filthy thing to do!  Take those people to the frigging cleaners!

Answer 30

You're the protector of your daughter, so you need to press charges and get those two scamsters thrown in prison.

The damage they've done to your daughter will last a lifetime.  You wouldn't hesitate to press charges if they broke her arm intentionally, or threw boiling water at her.