If American women are too feminist, then where are all the men who want unemployed women to take care of?

Question

I'll be glad to have a man take care of me while I stay at home. If we American women are so bad because we have careers and are treated as equals and there fore lack marriage material, then if we don't work we are considered leaches who don't have jobs and want to live off our husbands. So, where are the men who can appreciate a wife to take care of? I'll be glad to be her, as I don't fit that career woman who is her husband's equal. Yet, I want to be appreciated and loved, not ridiculed because I didn't work. What is ideal? Working or non working wife?

Answer 1

So you can't even get the guy who is so pathetic he receives his bride from UPS?

I don't think anyone should be "expected" to follow anyones expectations of this, but meet someone who follows their same beliefs.  I would surly hate to be stuck working if being at home was what I wanted and vice versa.

Answer 2

You DON'T GET IT.

American women are not "non-marriage material" because of their careers and independence. That is not a problem AT ALL. What makes American women non-marriage material is their ATTITUDES about being educated, independent, and having a good career.

When they achieve these things they get "uppity" as if men are expected to value them more because of it. Men DON'T care. s*x appeal and ATTITUDE is all men care about when it comes to women.

Lose the EGO and men wont mind your success. Mariah Carey is a good example of what I'm talking about.

Answer 3

I have no qualms about supporting a wife. Supporting an ex wife is a different matter Tracey. Does a woman loose her arms and legs in a divorce that she cant work after the marriage, or are you saying a divorced white woman deserves better than minimum pay ?

Answer 4

My brother believes that women are less than men.

He believes that women are physically weaker than men.  That's why I beat him at wrestling, and karate, and fencing, and boxing...

He believes that women are, by birth, 'defective' spiritually.  This is why we are often in heated religious arguments, which usually ends with him agreeing a few weeks later when some man says the same thing.

He thinks that a woman's place is in the kitchen, and has threatened to order himself a Russian bride.  I've threatened to beat him near death with a spatula, which goes back to the argument of men being stronger, which ends up with me kicking his *** and him claiming it was a "fluke".

I warn you, though, he has the makings of a typical redneck.

Now, onto my biggest gripe... "appreciate a wife to take care of".

Wow.  There is a difference between a housewife and an overly obsessive bdsm freak.  You do not fit the housewife persona, as you are too easily broken.  

I have a career and my soon to be wife has a career.  If two women can have a happy marriage (have been living together for years in what used to constitute as g*y marriage), then why can't a straight couple?  Oh wait, they can!  My aunt and uncle are doing it right now...

He works in the power industry, she's a contractor.  They've been married over twenty years, had four children, and raised seven because two were from her previous marriage and one was from his.

I call that pretty danged successful.

Then again, my parents have been married thirty years (dad's eight years older than his brother mentioned above, mind you), and my mom's a housewife.  She's not "submissive" and bends to his every will, is not a dependant little twit who believes her whole world will end without a man in it, and made the choice to be a housewife over a contract with RECORD LABEL!

So... there you have it.  Both can be successful marriages.  It all depends on the people involved, not their careers.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, the same men who carry on about how much they hate feminism are the same men who carry on about how they wouldn't get married because they would "lose everything" in the divorce.

So apparently what they want is meek housewives who stay home, clean house and raise children, but should the marriage fall apart, he's got the right to dump her without any updated job skills or any sort of support in the form of alimony to get on her feet professionally.

Answer 6

Don't get confused between equal opportunity and equal outcome.

Just because there aren't 50% of women in high powered positions doesn't mean this can't be a fair outcome even if it wasn't "equal". Giving someone the opportunity to achieve something doesn't mean they will

In my personal opinion though: couldn't care less if working or not. Whatever makes you happy

Answer 7

I'm not touching this one.  "Third rail"

Answer 8

If that is what you want, all you need to do is find yourself a rich man. He will be able to support you and take care of your future kids. The problem with this setup is that men like that have very short attention span. They loose interest in women quickly. So, as soon as he is tired of you, he will be moving on to another girl. And you ( and your possible children ) will be left high and dry. Now, Independence is the key to freedom no matter how you twist it.

Answer 9

I think the notion that working makes a woman a man's 'equal' is a a fancinful one.  In past times, most married women were expected to work, and work very hard, yet they were not regarded as their husband's 'equals'.  It was not his income that gave him authority over her, but the simple fact that he was her husband.

If you stay at home you are not necessarily unequal, it depends on how you and your husband relate to each other.  Raising children, cooking and cleaning are after all things that people expect to be paid for if they are not doing it for their own families, and if your husband is working, and if he has any sense, he will acknowledge that you are contributing significantly to the family by taking care of the children and most of the domestic work.

If you want to be a stay-at-home wife, then you need to find a man who still wants a woman who does that.  I believe there are a few of them still around.  However, if he thinks that you being a stay-at-home wife automatically makes you his inferior, then that might be something that needs discussing.  Again, if you want him to be in charge in your relationship that is fine, but many women who have careers are in that kind of relationship, it's not dependent on whether you are earning money or not.

I think you need to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  What matters is whether a man is going to accept you being at home with the children or not.  Most men nowadays want their wives to work and bring in money as well as taking care of all the domestic responsibilities, so you might have some difficulty finding a man who only wants you to do one job rather than two.  So long as you have a man who is okay with you being a stay-at-home wife, it doesn't really matter if other people criticise you for doing that.  People like that mostly haven't got two brain cells to rub together anyway.

Answer 10

They exist, but they're disappearing. Men are increasingly expecting their girlfriends/wives to work. I think this is a welcome change, personally.

Answer 11

What a lot of people fail to understand is that women no longer have to buy into the "gender roles" that we and the women before us where born into. We no longer have to be stay at home moms or housewives. We can be anything we chose to be, and this confuses a lot of men. Because it no longer gives them the run of the household or allows them to "wear the pants". Because now we can wear pants proudly and no longer have to depend on them to make all the decisions or be the bread winners.

We take care of ourselves, we're dependent upon no one, and we have the choice to be mothers (or not) if we want too. Which ever we please. The roles women do play now days has stepped away from the "norm" of the 50's, 60's and early 70's. We're employed in careers that where considered male, we own and run businesses, and we hold positions of authority. This frightens many men who feel threatened by this "change". It's not that we're "uppity" as Mike T put it, it's not that we've gotten "beside ourselves" it's just that we and the many women before us stepped outside the box and realized that the mold that has been placed upon us for generations is not law, it's not set it stone and we don't have to follow anyone else's plan for our lives, or give into what value someone places on our heads based on our s*x. We don’t think we’re better than men, we just realize that we’re human just like man and we should be treated with the same dignity, decency and respect as our male counter parts.  And this goes against what many men have been taught by the men who’ve passed their beliefs, thoughts and ideas of a woman from generation to generation. We don’t have a problem with our success; it’s the majority of men who have to see our success that has the problem.

Answer 12

I wouldn't expect my wife to work if we had a child. Never. In fact in most cases, depending, I would expect her NOT to. Gender roles are a fact firmly planted in the soil of human reality; and when we cut away the leaves we are left with an unprotected and thusly endangered root.

Answer 13

My dream is to keep a home and be taken care of, at least while the kids are in school.  Then after I don't mind working an easy job.  That's what a woman is, IMO.

Answer 14

They don't exist. I fell for that c**p. "I love you. I want to take care of you." Bullshit. Now I'm supporting HIM while he sits home on his *** playing on the computer all day. Don't fall for it. Take care of yourself and don't waste time waiting for a man to take care of you. I know I'll never make that mistake again.