If I adopt out one of my kids could I loose them both?

Question

My oldest son is special needs and is in foster care. My youngest is in guardianship with his grandma.

They already started the reunification process but I don't think I can raise a special needs kid along with my other kid. But I'm afraid if I adopt out my oldest CPS can use that against me for getting back my youngest.

Can they?

Answer 1

We are trying to adopt and from what I understand....if CPS requires you to place a child for adoption, then you are not going to get back your youngest.  If you do private adoption of your child, you should be okay.

Just be sure to think it all through...special needs kids are wonderful kids...and there are a ton of community resources available to you.  These kids are both yours, special needs or not.

Answer 2

what? so u just want to give away ur oldest son because he needs speacial needs?? u should love him more and not give him away. if u couldnt take care of the  oldest and another one why did u get pregnant and have another one.

did u think  that if the other child was born special also u  would give him up to. i think thats selfish of u and mean to ur child it isnt his fault for being born that way

u should always love ur children no matter what

Answer 3

The answer is no. Typically they cannot take your other children if you are electing to give up one.

Now if you were ever at any point deemed by the state to be unfit, or had your parenting in question by any government agency prior to this; be prepared. They will make an attempt to take both.

On another note:

To those above making points about her character due to this post, realize that there may be extenuating circumstances that we aren't aware of. I've been involved with social work for only two years now, but i've already seen this scenario on several occasions. This mother is being honest with herself, she knows that she cannot adequately provide for her special needs child. I would much rather deal with a parent in the system who KNOWS she cannot handle this task, and is electing to give up that right to someone who can, than work with a parent who obviously cannot take care of said child, but insists on doing so anyway at the behest of the state.

Some families simply do not have the resources to give a special needs child everything they need to grow up healthy and stable. Period. Sometimes there is literally nothing that can be done to improve someone's situation other than giving that child to a loving, responsible family.

Not many people can give a special needs child what they deserve. Yes I wish she would keep the child, but not if it goes against this child's best interest.

Answer 4

I don't think that is the case. For you to lose your other son, they would need to show that you are unable to care for him. I'm so sory you are going through this. And if he is already with your mom, I don't think they will take him from her too. It might be a good idea to have him stay there (maybe you can live there too) until you are able to sort through this.

Answer 5

How very sad. Obviously you have had problems raising your kids. The fact that you don't think you can handle YOUR special needs child makes me wonder if you can handle either. Maybe you should adopt both out for their sake?

Answer 6

This is so sad.

What if your youngest kid gets injured and becomes a special needs kid? Will you throw him out, too?

Answer 7

Placing one child or some children for adoption does not mean that the child(ren) your not placing  will taken from you. The only way that would happen is if the courts deemed you unfit and terminated your parenting rights.

Answer 8

Why would you want to get rid of your kid?  Sure it's a lot on your plate, but that's your BABY we're talking about....

Answer 9

Dats messed up.

Why u givin him away? cuz he needs more attention? wow umm dass horrible.

dont have s*x dan.. d**n

Answer 10

I think you are very brave. You are an amazing mom. You are able to admit that your special needs child needs more help than you can give, and you are giving him the best gift he could have, a mother who knows her limitations. I know that as mothers we are expected to be able to handle anything, but if people would look deep inside, they would realize that not everyone can handle the same things. I would think that others would be happy that you love your son so much, that you are willing to give him up to see that his needs are met. I would rather see you do this, than only give half of yourself to both sons. You are very brave, and I'm sorry you are in this position. I wish you all the best.

Answer 11

Ordinarily, the answer would be no.  There are many cases where a single parent cannot raise a special needs kid due to a variety of circumstances (housing, access to med care or transport, child care while working, her own illness, complexity of care, etc.).  However, never say never since there are punitive social workers.

Answer 12

You don't get to pick and choose your children, that is disgusting.

Raise your children. That is the job you signed up for when you became a mother.

Answer 13

well my 11yr old and my 4yr old live with me fulltime but i have an 8yr old that i did give up for adoption(long story not getting into it) anywhooo, i used the CPS services to find my daughter a good loving home yet they never said anything to me about my other children or even questioned me about it.