If I decide to forgive my husband for cheating ,how to ..?

Question

how do I trust him again..how do I live normally after he killed me..how do I accept his love and sleep with him without seeing the other woman in my mind..

Answer 1

Only time will tell if can get over this.............. it may work out or you may find it impossible to forget !!!

Only time will tell. Good Luck x*x

Answer 2

The simple answer is that you will not be able to forgive him. He will give you a load of weak excuses as to why he did it - usually, it will involve some sort of your own shortcomings.  Be clear on this, he cheated on you because he does not love you.  There is no other excuse.

Harsh I know but true.  Once a cheater always a cheater. You will forgive him and believe me, he will be at it again once he thinks the coast is clear.  Get out now - there is no trust and without that, there is no relationship.

Answer 3

Give him the movie, "Fatal Attraction", with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.  THAT SHOULD PRETTY MUCH NIP IT IN THE BUD!  Then lay a "meat cleaver" next to the bed every night as a reminder of just how LIMITED your patience NEXT time will be!    LOL

Answer 4

I don't think you should forgive someone after cheating on you, if my partner cheated on me I wouldn't be with him anymore! Once a cheater always a cheater! But if you really want to forgive him and be with him try to forget what happened but if it seems impossible to do then move on....I'm sure you can find a good person who will love you and respect you.  Good luck =)

Answer 5

So all this tub thumping from folk who think they have the solution.

really---it is down to YOU. And its all about your future security, isnt it?

Thats why you got to-gether with this guy----for your future.

Is it financially secure? Yes/No?

There is the answer. Tie him up in a contract that makes his infidelity expensive.

Then play his game.

Revenge is always best-----served cold

Answer 6

I will never trust the cheated person anymore, no matter reasons are.

Answer 7

i agree with dialupwa on this,ive forgiven before and only to be broken hearted again.i cant see you ever getting it out of your head,you may forgive but i know you wont be able to forget.

Answer 8

I tried so hard to rebuild my marriage after my husband's infidelity. It was a waste of time. I couldn't trust him an inch ever again, no matter how hard I tried. For me, the only thing to do was to call it a day. And how glad I am that I did. You will need all your strength if you want to hold on to your marriage. I couldn't do it.  

Answer 9

The trust is now gone you probably will always have suspicions! he took your trust & threw it away, his fault but he'll have alot of making up to do & he can't put a time limit on it, you'll eventually forgive when your ready but I doubt you'll ever be able to forget!. Sorry to hear of the pain you went through it must have really hurt theses stupid men, that's why i'd never get involved with a married man it just affects too many people inc families & it's just not worth it.

Answer 10

you will have to learn to trust him again, it will take time and effort and be hard work.

Answer 11

I wouldn't bother. I tried to forgive my husband for his affair but it didn't work. Every time I looked at him I just felt rage and bitterness. Perhaps we should have tried counseling, we have 2 kids and I wanted it to work for their sake too. I just couldn't do it though, why should I sit there learning how to trick my brain into accepting back a lying cheat that caused so much pain? I believe he was really sorry and had made a mistake etc but it wasn't enough. It took me a long time to feel better about things and I still cry sometimes but at least I can move on with dignity. I tried, I failed, it wasn't my fault, end of story.

Answer 12

you dont have to do anything. he gave all that up when he cheated. now he has to prove to you that he can be trusted. its ok for you not to trust him because he did it once and he might do it again. it will be difficult for you to just try to trust him again. he has to show you that he can be trusted and then from there you will find your self more at ease and back to normal.everything is up to him. he messed up so he has to fix ur broken heart and work twice as hard to gain your trust. don't let him of the hook so easily, he has to really know what he did wrong and how it made you feel. so he has a lot of work to do. don't  stress yourself over something that he did. he broke that part of the relationship, now he can fix it too. good luck

Answer 13

its a really hard thing to deal with... it all depends and how strong your relationship is and how willing he is to build the trust up again.

Your always going to have it in the back of your mind no matter  how much you want to forget about it. You'll find yourself questioning his whereabouts and if he is really telling you the truth about things.

I'm not going to lie its going to be though for both of you, and believe me its going to take a long time before you can get back to normal, if you do at all.

Hopefully he's not the promiscuous type and learned his lesson the first time round, but i do know that if they do it more than twice then its in them to do it again. I really hope for your sake he's not.

I think you know in your hearth what to do. Just remember your better than that.

Answer 14

U CANT!!!!

LOOK GAL,IF A MAN CHEATS ON U ONCE OR EVEN THINKS OF CHEATING HE CAN 'NEVER" BE TRUSTED!!!!

TRUST ME ON THIS,MEN ARE LIKE STREET DOGS,ONCE THEY SEE ANOTHER FEMALE DOG THEY HAVE THGIS ANIMAL INSTINCT TO **** IT!!!!

U WANT TO FORGIVE HIM 4 WHAT??? HE CHEATED ON U,WOULD HE HAVE FORGIVEN U IF U DID THE SAME TO HIM??? DONT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH SUCH MEN!!

Answer 15

why would you want to forgive a cheater?

you obviously deserve a better life then constantly being paranoid that he is going to go off and see her again.

you obviously deserve better then having to check his email and phone for her number.

you obviously deserve better than a man who cannot even stay faithful to the one he married.

you obviously deserve better than a man who lied when he said his wedding vows.

if you decide to forgive him besides the fact that he cheated on you, you cannot trust him. once a cheater always a cheater

if you decide to forgive him besides the fact that he cheated on you, you cannot live normally. you will always be paranoid, esp if he is only 10 minutes late when coming home from work.

if you decide to forgive him besides the fact that he cheated on you,you will not forget about the women he cheated on you with, the image of that woman will be burned into your mind forever.

you deserve better than a man that cannot stay faithful to the woman he says he loves.

Answer 16

I understand. This happened to me and I made a decision to forgive him. This experience was very painful and it cut through my heart. I'm sure you're feeling the same way. It took a long time to forgive him and trust him. Explain to him that in order to regain his trust, trust works in 2 factors- words and actions. If his words say I'm sorry and I'll do anything to fix this, and his actions are calling a marriage counselor, then you can give trusting him. However; if his words say that he loves you, but he's still spending time with the "other women" then you can not start to trust him. My suggestion is to talk about it- everything. What led him to cheat, how long, with who, why- all the questions ou have he MUST answer. You need closure so you could proceed with the forgiveness and trust.

4 Stages

1-Trial period: asking questions

2- Forgiveness: forgive him

3- Trust: start regaining trust for him

4- Move on: start moving on with your marriage and family life

Hope this helps, God bless you.

Answer 17

Can I just tell you hun.

ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT!!!!!

Please trust me on that one.  

Answer 18

If you feel you can't do that, then you don't really want to forgive him. Either gather the strength to do it, or put an end to the relationship.

Answer 19

u can forgive but never forget and that is the end of a relationship. Resentment will take over n love will be a thing of the past. Your bring it up in every arguement and just make yourslef unhappy. Let it go if he loved you he would have never done that to begin with. Mayb have a break for a few months with no contact... gives you time to get your thougths together and he'll either beg, beg & beg to prove how much he loves you... ior sod off.... let fate do its thing..